I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)
Bravealan (2002)
Stephen Mangan: Dan Moody
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Partridge : [Dan is buying a newspaper] The Daily Mail.
Dan Moody : Yep.
Alan Partridge : Arguably the best newspaper in the world.
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Alan Partridge : It's amazing, we both like The Daily Mail, we both drive Lexi.
Dan Moody : Plural.
Alan Partridge : Plural. And we both drink Director's Bitter. It's like The X-Files, but a pleasant X-Files.
Dan Moody : The Lex Files.
Alan Partridge : God, that's good.
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Alan Partridge : Are you wearing Lynx?
Dan Moody : [lifts his arm] Well smelt. Voodoo.
Alan Partridge : [lifts his arm too] Java.
[they shake hands]
Alan Partridge : Alan Partridge.
Dan Moody : Dan Moody.
Alan Partridge : Pleased to meet you.
Michael : Ah wear Tommy Hilfinger.
Alan Partridge : It's "Hilfiger".
Michael : No, it says "Hilfinger" on the bottle.
Alan Partridge : Did you buy it down the market?
Michael : Aye.
Alan Partridge : Ah, that explains it.
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Dan Moody : I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes.
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Alan Partridge : Can I shake your hand again?
Dan Moody : [take a business card out of his pocket and slips it into Alan's hand as he shakes it] Take a card.
Alan Partridge : Oh, you combined the card with a handshake?
Dan Moody : Yeah.
Alan Partridge : I used to do that but kept getting it wrong. Gave a paper cut to a man from Nestlé.
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Dan Moody : [introducing Alan to his wife] Give the man a twirl, let the dog see the rabbit.
Alan Partridge : Ooh, yeah. But which is which? Sorry! Yeah, sorry, sorry 'bout that. Obviously, I'm, I'm the dog, I'm the dog. You're a terrific rabbit.
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Dan Moody : Alan. How was your visit to the lavatory?
Alan Partridge : [salutes] Er, mission accomplished. Splashdown.
Bob Fraser : Did you see Mr. Brown and his friends off to the coast?
Alan Partridge : Yeah. Actually, I should get a bravery award for that, I tell you. No, seriously, it was textbook.
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Michael : Nice Lexus.
Dan Moody : Yes, I love Lexi.
Alan Partridge : Yeah, I always have a thing I say about Lexus, it's like the, er, the
Alan Partridge , Dan Moody : Japanese Mercedes.
Dan Moody : Yeah, well, I hate Mercs. People who drive them are just sa-a-ad.
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Alan Partridge : Can I be very rude?
[points at the TV, which is playing Dan's sex video]
Alan Partridge : Not like that.
Dan Moody : Try me.
Alan Partridge : No, no, come on, pack it in, mate. I don't want to have sex with your wife. Even though, from the promotional video I can see that I would have a, a ruddy good time.
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[Alan has come to Dan's house to talk to him about a kitchen. Dan puts on a video. Sounds of heavy breathing come from the TV]
Alan Partridge : [watching the video] That's a good stainless steel hob. Very futuristic.
[to Dan's wife]
Alan Partridge : That's you. You're naked.
[to Dan]
Alan Partridge : There's you. Hello, Dan.
[Dan smiles at Alan in a very creepy way. Alan is feeling rather uncomfortable]
Alan Partridge : Is that a granite work surface supporting you both? Not Corian, a man-made marble substitute?
Dan Moody : Well, Corian is to marble and granite what MDF is to wood. I've got wood there.
Alan Partridge : No, that's MDF. Oh, I see, you're making a joke. MDF's banned in America.
Ceri Moody : [nods at the TV] So's that.
[Alan stares at the TV, not liking what he's seeing but unable to look away]
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Dan Moody : [playfully trying to drag Alan away from Karen Colman] Alan Partridge, I arrest you on suspicion of sucking up to a mustard magnate.
Alan Partridge : [resisting] You're not a copper.
Dan Moody : Well, it's a citizen's arrest.
Alan Partridge : Well, I'll shoot you, then. Bang.
Dan Moody : Well, I'm wearing a bulletproof blazer!
Alan Partridge : Well, I'll go for a head shot. Bang.
Dan Moody : I'm the Terminator! You can't kill me!
Alan Partridge : [fed up] I've got your kids. I've got your kids, Dan.
[Dan, somewhat offended, lets him go]