I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

Basic Alan (1997)

Phil Cornwell: Dave Clifton

Quotes 

• [on air, on Radio Norwich] 

  Dave Clifton : [referring to Alan getting caught trying to steal a traffic cone]  There goes Alan Partridge, cone but not forgotten. Are you off to see a film, like "Cone-an the Barbarian"?

  Alan Partridge : Yeah, good one.

  Dave Clifton : And then watch a bit of TV, eh? Like "Cone Dancing".

  Alan Partridge : Yeah. Not so good but fine.

  Dave Clifton : Oh, come on, Alan, what's the matter with you? Cone you take a joke?

  Alan Partridge : Oh, fuck off.

  Dave Clifton : Actually I'm, I am speechless. Dave Clifton is actually speechless. I don't believe you just said...

  Alan Partridge : You don't sound it. I wish you were.

  Dave Clifton : I am. I mean, I really don't know what to say. I find it really difficult to find a word...

  Alan Partridge : Try saying nothing!

  Dave Clifton : You and I both know that dead air is a crime. And I think it's terrible that you have to fill it with swearing on your show.

  Alan Partridge : Unfortunately, Dave, you are bang wrong. It's one minute past seven, it's your show, you're responsible for the output. I am technically a guest and you've failed to control me. Read the small print on your cone-tract.