I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

A Room with an Alan (1997)

Simon Greenall: Michael

Quotes 

• Alan Partridge : Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again.

  Michael : [very broad Geordie accent]  Vandals, eh, Mr. Partridge? Y'know, makes me wonder what it's all aboot.

  Alan Partridge : [confused]  Aboot?

  Michael : Aye, y'know, vandals, y'know? What is it all aboot?

  Alan Partridge : Oh, about. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie... people.

  Michael : Y'know, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night.

  Alan Partridge : What?

  Michael : What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, y'know, for t' gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken homes.

  Alan Partridge : Sorry, that was just a noise. All I got there was "broken homes". And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. You, look at you, do you, uh... go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall?

  Michael : Aye. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen.

  Alan Partridge : Well, there you go. They taught you a trade. Minor repairs.

  Michael : Aye. That and killin'.