- Sean Finnerty: [Trying to psych himself up] It's okay. It's just a vasectomy. Perfectly routine. In a few years they'll probably have a home kit.
- Sean Finnerty: [Whining about his scheduled vasectomy] So, the good news is: we're not pregnant. The bad news is: they're snipping my nads off!
- Claudia Finnerty: Daddy like?
- Sean Finnerty: Yeah! Daddy like!
- [Faking a British accent]
- Sean Finnerty: You have a kind of Emma Peel thing going on.
- Claudia Finnerty: [Grabbing hold of him] I don't know who that is, but keep talking!
- Eddie Finnerty: [Responding to Sean's claim of sensitivity after his non-existent vasectomy] So, where was that sensitivity yesterday?
- [Flashing back to a one-on-one basketball game, where Sean repeatedly hip checks Eddie]
- Sean Finnerty: It comes and goes.
- Eddie Finnerty: Oh, I get it: you're lying.
- Sean Finnerty: [Bursts into the examination room, where the doctor and nurse are treating another patient] I'm here about this bill for a vasectomy!
- Dr. Weidlinger: Which you didn't get! Three times!
- Sean Finnerty: I've changed my mind! I want it now!
- Dr. Weidlinger: I wouldn't give you a vasectomy if you were the last man on Earth!
- Sean Finnerty: I wouldn't need a vasectomy if I was the last man on Earth and you wouldn't be around to give it to me! So, HA!
- Dr. Weidlinger: Okay! You win! But you can pay me anyway!
- Sean Finnerty: For what?
- Dr. Weidlinger: For services rendered!
- Sean Finnerty: There were no services rendered!
- [the doctor makes a circling motion over the supine patient's groin]
- Sean Finnerty: $750 for a shave?
- Dr. Weidlinger: Its a union job!
- Sean Finnerty: [Flashing back to his vasectomy meltdown] So, what's next?
- Dr. Weidlinger: You need to be shaved.
- [a dorky-looking male nurse enters with the shaving implements and Sean freaks out]
- Eddie Finnerty: [Returning to the present] Actually, if it's done right, it feels kinda nice.