Green Acres (TV Series)

Jealousy, English Style (1967)

Eva Gabor: Lisa Douglas

Quotes 

• Tony Ashley : [being introduced to Lisa]  How do you do?

  Lisa Douglas : How do I do what?

• Oliver Wendell Douglas : [trying to explain to Lisa why she can't go]  No, it's not a stag party. It's a farm symposium.

  Lisa Douglas : What's a symposium?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : Well, a lot of men sit around a long table and-...

  Lisa Douglas : And the girl comes out of the cake.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : No. No girl comes out of a cake!

  Lisa Douglas : What does she come out of?

• Lisa Douglas : Oliver?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [reading, and not listening]  Mm-hmm.

  Lisa Douglas : I want to talk to you.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [reading, and not listening]  Mm-hmm.

  Lisa Douglas : Are you listening?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [reading, and not listening]  Mm-hmm.

  Lisa Douglas : [testing him]  The baby's coming.

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [reading, and not listening]  That's nice.

  Lisa Douglas : You better go and boil some water.

  [He absent mindedly leaves while still reading] 

  Lisa Douglas : He's a good man to have around in a crisis.

  [shakes head, and follows to kitchen] 

  Lisa Douglas : Oliver?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : Hmm?

  Lisa Douglas : What are you doing?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [Still reading]  Boiling some hot water.

  Lisa Douglas : What for?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [Still reading]  You're going to have a baby.

  Lisa Douglas : I already had it. Would you mind heating up some milk?

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : [Still reading]  Sure.

  [Finally realizes what she's been saying] 

  Oliver Wendell Douglas : What do you mean you had a baby?

  Lisa Douglas : I knew you weren't listening.