- Carmen Lopez: I'll just need the ski equipment, it shouldn't cost more than... five hundred dollars.
- George Lopez: Five hundred dollars? Ta loca, five hundred dollars!
- Carmen Lopez: Well, what if you don't buy me anything for Christmas?
- George Lopez: You're still four hundred and eighty dollars short.
- Angie Lopez: [to Carmen] We have never spoiled you before and we're not about to let some other family start now.
- Benny: [comes in the house at night] George, we need to talk.
- [sees Angie in her nightgown]
- Benny: Shouldn't you be in a store window in Amsterdam?
- Angie Lopez: Shouldn't you be in a medical journal with a big question mark next to you?
- Angie Lopez: [after George tells her about the trouble between Jack and Mel] Man, it's like a soap opera with ugly people!