George Lopez (TV Series)

Sabes Quake (2005)

George Lopez: George Lopez

Quotes 

• George Lopez : Mom, I want to talk to you about something that happened when I was a kid.

  Benny : You know what? Let me save you the trouble: I never hugged you, I never told you I'm proud of you, and I can't say 'I love you' without sounding sarcastic.

  George Lopez : What about the earthquake when I was 6?

  Benny : George! There are incest victims with fewer repressed memories than you!

• George Lopez : I was all alone during that earthquake, you weren't there.

  Benny : George, I couldn't be there. I was stuck at my second job and the buses weren't running.

  George Lopez : But you never talked to me. You never made me feel better.

  Benny : What was I supposed to say, that everything was going to be alright? Everything's not going to be alright. There are earthquakes and hurricanes and tornadoes, and a lot of really good people die for no reason, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

  George Lopez : [dryly]  Thanks for not talking to me.

• Carmen Lopez : Dad! The Changs left another hot apple pie cooling on the windowsill.

  George Lopez : Make it look like dogs got it again. Go!

• George Lopez : [carrying a traumatized Carmen out of her room after the earthquake]  Come on, Carmen, I built this room, I know what it can take. If we stay here, we're dead.

• George Lopez : It's over, okay, everybody run outside.

  Angie Lopez : No wait, I think we're supposed to stay in the doorway incase there's an aftershock.

  Vic Palmero : No, we're supposed to get under a table.

  Max Lopez : You're supposed to make yourself look bigger!

  George Lopez : That's for bears!

  [house starts shaking again] 

  Max Lopez : [holds up the back of his jacket on his sleeves]  I'm bigger! I'm bigger!

  [George carries him out] 

• Benny : I heard on the radio that the earthquake was a 6.2, it was centered in Northridge.

  George Lopez : Northridge again? What the hell are those people doing over there? They need to knock down their false idols and recognize.

  Benny : I also heard there's a city wide curfew and people have already started looting. What has happened to L.A.? It used to be you could fix your place up, get a bite to eat, and then go out and loot at your own pace. I might not even go out this year.

• Angie Lopez : George, I had $200 in cash in this emergency kit, and it's gone. Did you dip into it playing poker in the garage?

  George Lopez : Would you call 3 aces and 1 chip an emergency?

  Angie Lopez : No.

  George Lopez : Then we've been robbed!

• Ernie's Mom : [on walkie talkie]  Where are you, Ernesto? I'm hungry!

  Ernie : I'm at George's house!

  Ernie's Mom : Liar!

  George Lopez : [Ernie hands him the walkie talkie]  Hi Mrs. Cardenas!

  Ernie's Mom : Is everybody alright?

  George Lopez : Yeah, we're fine, thanks for asking.

  Ernie's Mom : Is your mother there?

  George Lopez : Yeah, she's here.

  Ernie's Mom : Good, then she's not the one that stole our lawnmower.

  Benny : [takes walkie talkie]  Hey Sylvie! You should get an inspector to come out, because you might be able to get money from the government for your butt, your boobs, and everything else that's falling down around you.

• Ernie : [on the walkie talkie]  What're you doing, Mom?

  Ernie's Mom : I'm looking for the other walkie talkie you lost. Testing, testing, allo? Allo?

  Ernie : I didn't lose it, Mom!

  Ernie's Mom : Of course you did, you'd lose your peepee if it wasn't attached.

  George Lopez : [laughing]  Orale.