George Lopez (TV Series)

Love Bites (2002)

George Lopez: George Lopez

Quotes 

• George Lopez : From now on, you're homeschooled, anything we don't know, you don't know. When was the Korean War? I don't know and neither do you! What's the Magna Carter? Sorry, bro!

• George Lopez : Angie, have you seen Carmen's dance shirt?

  Angie Lopez : Which one?

  Benny : The ones with the enormous breasts in it.

  George Lopez : Keep it clean! Chi chis!

• George Lopez : [Adam's at the door]  Angie, does that moron have a hickey?

  Angie Lopez : Yep.

  Carmen Lopez : Run, Adam!

  [Adam freezes] 

  Angie Lopez : You better *run*, moron!

• Angie Lopez : [George comes in disheveled with a radio antenna in hand]  What happened to you?

  George Lopez : Racial profiling.

  Angie Lopez : What?

  George Lopez : Let me ask you a question: if you're a cop, who do you chase? The BMW that runs a red light, or the Mexican chasing the BMW screaming 'I'll kill you!'?

  Angie Lopez : Is that Adam's car antenna?

  George Lopez : Yep, touch my daughter and you go back to AM, fool.

• George Lopez : Tell her about being 16 and pregnant, tell her about how I ruined your life.

  Benny : Oh you didn't ruin my life.

  George Lopez : This is no time for jokes!

  Benny : [to Carmen]  Your father didn't ruin my life, *I* ruined my life. Look, when you're young you meet a guy who seems great, and you forget about what's right or wrong and go to bed with him, and it's pretty good!

  George Lopez : MOM!

  Benny : I'm not going to lie! But then, he doesn't turn out to be as great as you thought and the next thing you know, you're alone with a baby. And while the rest of your friends are out having a great time, you're up to your stretch marks in dirty diapers. I gave up all my pretty years for him

  [points to George] 

  George Lopez : Are you ready for that to be you?

  Carmen Lopez : I'm not going to have sex, I know I'm not ready yet.

• George Lopez : [showing Carmen pictures of STDs to scare her out of having sex]  Some of these diseases can kill you, and then there are others like... Angie, where are my genital herpes?

  Angie Lopez : They should be in your lap.

  George Lopez : No, all I have here is crabs.

• George Lopez : [showing Carmen pictures]  This is gonorrhea!

  [Carmen squeezes her eyes shut and moans] 

  George Lopez : Bet you're not glad now you talked me into getting that color printer.

  [to Angie] 

  George Lopez : The red really pops.