George Lopez (TV Series)

George vs. George (2003)

George Lopez: George Lopez

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Lopez : [on the couch, talking on the phone]  Listen, I told the man, who connected me to the woman, who connected me to you that these charges are not mine! I'm not that George Lopez; I'm this George Lopez! No. Don't put me on hold. Don't put me on hold. Don't -

  [his expression changes; starts singing] 

  George Lopez : Who can it be now. Who can it be now.

  Angie Lopez : [comes downstairs with laundry basket; George sits up]  How's it going?

  George Lopez : Uh, none of these people believe me.

  [stands up and walks to kitchen] 

  George Lopez : This is gonna take forever.

  [starts dancing in his place and singing again] 

  George Lopez : Who can it be knocking at my door.

  [bangs phone 3 times on the counter and puts it back to his ear] 

  Angie Lopez : Well, it can't take forever. We need that money for Allendale.

  George Lopez : You know it's fourteen grand a year until Carmen graduates.

  [Angie turns to give George a look] 

  George Lopez : We could be talkin' six, seven years.

  [Angie looks exasperated and walks over and whacks him with the dish towel and goes back to the basket she places on the chair] 

  George Lopez : Hello, this is George Lopez. No, man. Don't send me another form. What? That's not my business address. That must be the other George -

  [Angie turns] 

  George Lopez : Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry; that's my address. Just say it again. I wanna make sure you got it right.

  [snaps his fingers to signal Angie to get him paper and writing utensil; she rushes over to grab it and his snapping and arm motions intensify and she finally gives him the paper and pencil and he starts writing] 

  George Lopez : 2796 Van Nuys Boulevard. Thanks a lot.

  [turns off the phone; turns to Angie] 

  George Lopez : I got him, Angie. I got him.

  [walks away and to the door] 

  Angie Lopez : Okay, George: Take it easy.

  George Lopez : There's a thief over at 2679 Van Nuys and I'm gonna kick his butt.

  [grabs his coat] 

  Angie Lopez : George! Your - your dyslexia! It's 2796!

  George Lopez : Don't try t' stop me; I'm goin' to 2976 and kickin' whoever's butt's there!

  Angie Lopez : It's 2796!

  [runs out as he goes] 

  George Lopez : I don't care! I'm goin' to the 2000 block and kick everyone's butt!

  [from the yard, Angie throws up her arm in exasperation and George peeks over the fence] 

  George Lopez : Angie!

  Angie Lopez : [angry]  2796!

• George Lopez : [Carmen's been accepted to Allendale]  How much?

  Angie Lopez : You know she can't go back to a regular school where the kids are calling her a whore.

  George Lopez : Under $5000, she goes to Allendale, over $5000, I say we buy her a pair of heels and a miniskirt and embrace this whole whore thing.

• George Lopez : [finding out how much Carmen's new school costs]  $14,000?

  Benny : For $100 I could buy her a fake I.D. and she could go right to work

• George Lopez : This is my work place, be there at 10 AM tomorrow morning and bring your birth certificate, because if you don't, I'm going to come find you and kick your ass.

  George Lopez : Kick all you want, dude, I skateboard, I can't feel *anything* down there.

  [George moves towards him] 

  George Lopez : I'll be there.