- Vic Palmero: I was overly ambitious with my bike route and I need a ride home. Gentlemen, I have destroyed my scrotum.
- George Lopez: Look, Angie is the most important thing in my life and I'm not going to let some rich, good-looking dude make a move on her. God, I drove her to this. You know, last night, she was wearing the avocado mask and rollers. She had a little leg stubble. I should've just pictured Salma Hayek and went for it.
- Angie Lopez: [to George] There's nothing going on between me and Spencer, and I can explain it at home when I'm not working!
- George Lopez: No, I want to know now.
- Angie Lopez: This is not the time or the place to discuss this!
- George Lopez: Angie!
- Angie Lopez: [to her clients] Sorry, now, where were we? Hmm?
- George Lopez: [while making a banging noise] What happened during lunch? What happened during lunch?
- Angie Lopez: There was no lunch date! I walked around the mall for an hour.
- George Lopez: What?
- Angie Lopez: He blew me off when I called yesterday. He didn't even want to have lunch. He told me to get over it. I was humiliated, okay?
- George Lopez: Angie, I don't think this is the time or place to air our dirty laundry.
- George Lopez: [to Angie] Okay, look, wait, before you say anything, all right, I know I acted like an idiot, but I wouldn't have gone down there if you didn't lie to me in the first place.
- Angie Lopez: How could I possibly tell you the truth? How could I tell you that he dumped me, and he never wanted to see me again? You put me on this pedestal like I'm some kind of goddess and I always wanted you to believe that you won the prize, not caught me on the rebound from Spencer. I did this for you, George.
- George Lopez: Oh-ho-ho! So close! I'll bet the only reason you called him in the first place was to make me jealous.
- Angie Lopez: I wanted to know why the hell he dumped me. No one's ever dumped Angie Palmero. I'm a prize, damn it.
- Vic Palmero: [to Angie about Spencer Vogel] I paid him $10,000 to break it off with you and never see you again.
- Angie Lopez: You paid him to get out of my life? How dare you!
- George Lopez: Yeah, how dare you! Hey, man, you hated my guts and you never offered me a dime.