Friends (TV Series)
The One with the Monkey (1994)
Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing
Photos
Quotes
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Chandler : Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass!
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Chandler : [upon seeing Joey as one of Santa's elves] Too... many... jokes! Must... mock... Joey!
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Rachel : Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's?
[They all hit her with pillows]
Rachel : Gee, what? What is wrong with New Year's?
Chandler : Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops! Man, I'm talking loud!
Rachel : Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you
Phoebe : Yeah, you wish!
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[first lines]
Dr. Ross Geller : [at the door] Guys... there's a *somebody* I'd like you to meet.
[enters - there's a monkey perched on his shoulder]
Monica Geller : [amidst positive exclaiming] Wait. Wait. What is that?
Dr. Ross Geller : *That* would be Marcel. Wanna say hi?
Monica Geller : No. No, I don't!
Rachel : Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Dr. Ross Geller : My friend Bethal rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe : That is so cruel. Why, *why* would a parent name their child Bethal?
Chandler : Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass!
Monica Geller : Ross, is - is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
Dr. Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean, it's kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Monica Geller : Why don't you just get a roommate?
Dr. Ross Geller : Well, no, I think you reach a certain age when a roommate is just kinda pathetic...
[realizes whom he's talking to]
Dr. Ross Geller : Uh, sorry, that's "pathic", which is Sanscrit for "a really cool way to live."