- Monica and Chandler nervously prepare for a visit from an adoption worker. Phoebe and Mike keep changing their minds about donating their wedding money to charity. Ross fights Rachel's fear of swings.
- Ross refuses to allow Rachel to pass on her irrational fear of playground swings to their daughter, because of the time her hair once got caught in one and, 'far worse,' had to be cut off unevenly. He takes them both to the park where he has to face his own fear of spiders in exchange for getting Rachel to try a swing after seeing Emma enjoy it. Monica thoroughly clears away everything that might scare off Laura, the social worker from the adoption agency, but Joey, who promised to turn up in case she's impressed by a TV 'celebrity', makes things worse, because had once dated Laura and never called her back. Meanwhile, after trying on Monica's veil, Phoebe changes her mind about the donation of her wedding day money to the New York Children's Fund, and so drags fiance Mike along to seduce the foundation's clerk, whom she thinks is gay, to convince him to give back the money, but then feels guilty about it.—KGF Vissers
- For an adoption home study, a social worker called Laura (Maria Pitillo) is visiting Chandler and Monica to determine if they are good parents and to put them on the waiting list at the adoption agency. Upon arriving, she realizes she remembers the building because she'd slept with Joey and he never called her back, to which Monica and Chandler quickly pretend to not be friends with him.
Joey comes in to attempt to boost their chances (because he's a celebrity and it looks good on the small people but Chandler quickly slams the door and claims it's a crazy person roaming the halls called Bert. Joey climbs up the fire escape with a bat thinking Bert is their code word for danger. Laura spots him in the apartment but Joey manages to turn it around on her saying she didn't call him (and that she never gave him her phone number), he compliments her and tells her for those reasons he would have called.
She is flattered and apologizes for it, though he rejects her. Chandler and Monica are amazed by Joey's performance while Laura is embarrassed and apologizes for the scene and she says that Monica and Chandler will be excellent parents, and puts them on the waiting list.
Phoebe and Mike are planning their wedding and decide to not have a big fancy wedding (which they realize will cost a lot of money) and donate their wedding funds to a children's charity, and decide to get married at the city hall. However, after Monica gives Phoebe her veil and doesn't hide her negative feelings about Phoebe getting married at the city hall, Phoebe and Mike decide they want the money back, which they get with a lot of sarcasm from the staff member serving them.
Phoebe however realizes that those kids had a similar childhood to hers and decides to again donate the money but when they get there, she keeps on changing her mind. The member of staff, frustrated with their inability to make their decisions, rejects the money instead, encouraging them to enjoy their wedding. Phoebe and Mike are satisfied with the outcome, as they can come back a few yrs after the wedding and make an even bigger donation.
Rachel tells Ross he can't take Emma on the swings because of a traumatic incident she had as a four year old girl, getting her hair tangled in the swings and having to have a chunk cut out. Ross convinces her otherwise and Rachel changes her mind when she sees how happy Emma is, but after Ross is knocked over by a kid on a swing, Rachel goes back to banning Emma from the swings. However, they compromise and Ross holds a spider in his hand (he has a fear of spiders, and Rachel asks him to confront it) and Rachel goes on the swings, but accidentally knocks Ross over again after telling him the spider was on his neck, due to which Ross panics and steps in front of Rachel's swing.
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