- Chandler: I was really confused and I talked to these guys
- Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Hey!
- Joey Tribbiani: She's right you know
- Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah, but still cheap shot!
- [first lines]
- Dr. Ross Geller: Chandler! Chandler!
- [Ross opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed]
- Dr. Ross Geller: Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
- Chandler: [to Monica] Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then!
- [Chandler kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window]
- Monica: [to Chandler] What are you doing?
- Chandler: Oh, I'm going on the lamb.
- Monica: [stopping him] Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross.
- [They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain but Monica pushes his hand back]
- Monica: [to Ross] Hold on!
- [She opens the door]
- Monica: Hey Ross. What's up bro?
- [Upon entering, Ross makes a beeline for Chandler, who runs and hides behind Monica]
- Dr. Ross Geller: What the hell are you doing?
- [Rachel and Joey come over from his apartment]
- Rachel Green: Hey, what's-what's going on?
- Chandler: Well, I think, I *think* Ross knows about me and Monica.
- Joey Tribbiani: [concerned] Dude! He's right there!
- Dr. Ross Geller: [to Chandler] I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
- Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
- Monica: [taking Ross's hand] I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
- [Long pause]
- Dr. Ross Geller: [happily] My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this.
- [He hugs them both]
- Dr. Ross Geller: [to Joey and Rachel] You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
- Rachel Green: Awww, no, it's okay, we've actually known for a while.
- [There's another pause as Ross gets angry again, much to the concern of Monica and Chandler]
- Dr. Ross Geller: What? What? What? You guys knew?
- [Joey and Rachel backup against the door frame]
- Dr. Ross Geller: You *all* knew and you didn't tell me?
- Rachel Green: Well, Ross, we were worried about you. Okay, we didn't know how you were going to react.
- [pause]
- Dr. Ross Geller: [happily again] You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react?
- [He hugs Joey and Rachel]
- Joey Tribbiani: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business?
- [Ross turns and glares at him]
- Joey Tribbiani: Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here,
- [pointing to Chandler]
- Joey Tribbiani: He-he's the one doing your sister.
- Katie: You were so funny with that waiter. You're such a nut!
- [Joey spills some of his coffee, scared]
- Joey Tribbiani: You know, breadsticks fangs are always funny.
- Katie: No, you make them funny
- [starts to punch him]
- Katie: You're the funny one.
- Joey Tribbiani: Uh, look Katie, listen, we need to talk, okay? Uhm, I like you, I really do, I like you a lot, okay? But sometimes when you playfully punch me like that, it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but a very real bat.
- Katie: Aw... like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size?
- [Punches him harder]
- Katie: DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME BECAUSE OF MY SIZE!
- Rachel Green: No, you're right! You are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
- Chandler: Okay. It's not different at all, is it?
- Rachel Green: Not unless different means the same.