Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Fertility Test (2003)

Debra Azar: Spa Receptionist

Quotes 

• [Rachel exits through the glass doors just as Phoebe enters the Spa Reception] 

  Spa Receptionist : [politely]  Phoebe, your next client's in the Waiting Room.

  Phoebe Buffay : OK. Do we have to talk like that when they're not around?

  [the Spa Receptionist smiles, Phoebe looks towards the glass doors and sees Rachel who doesn't see her. Rachel takes a seat as Phoebe quickly turns around and gasps] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [concerned]  Oh. Ooh no-no-no. Listen... is there someone who can fill in for me?

  Spa Receptionist : [looks at the bookings]  Sorry. Everyone is booked.

  Phoebe Buffay : But that woman can't know that I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this... *big* stink about how awful these Massage Chains are.

  Spa Receptionist : Then why do you work here?

  Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause it's good money... that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil, blood-sucking cooperate machine.

  Spa Receptionist : [quite joyfully]  Well, I think this is a great place to work.

  Phoebe Buffay : [looks around and whispers]  OK. Are they listening?

• Rachel Green : [entering the Spa Reception]  Hi there.

  Spa Receptionist : [politely]  Hello. Welcome to Lavender Day Spa. How may I help you?

  Rachel Green : [impressed]  Oh. Um, hi. I'm uh, I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green.

  [Rachel reaches into her bag and takes out the taped together Gift Certificate] 

  Spa Receptionist : OK.

  Rachel Green : And here is my... Gift Certificate.

  [Rachel hands the certificate over to the Spa Receptionist] 

  Spa Receptionist : [examines the certificate]  This has been torn up.

  Rachel Green : [points out]  And... taped back together.

  Spa Receptionist : [politely]  OK. Well, I'll call you as soon as your Massage Therapist is ready.

  Rachel Green : [turning to leave]  OK.

  Spa Receptionist : [politely]  Have a seat through the glass doors.

  Rachel Green : [indicates the glass doors]  Through the glass doors?

  Spa Receptionist : [well spoken with a smile]  Through the glass doors.

  Rachel Green : [gladly]  Alrighty then.

• [last lines] 

  Spa Receptionist : [politely]  Good morning Phoebe.

  Phoebe Buffay : [puts on a polite tone with a smile]  Good morning Receptionist.

  Spa Receptionist : [politely gives Phoebe a piece of paper]  Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room number one.

  Phoebe Buffay : [looks at the schedule]  Bu... Rachel Green? Son of a bitch! She came back?

  [Phoebe goes to room number one and opens the door slightly] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [calls inside with a Scottish accent]  Are ya ready for your Scottish massage? Put ya face in the hole lassie!

  [Phoebe enters the room and closes the door]