- Joey: Phoebs?
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah?
- Joey: Do you think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
- Phoebe Buffay: Why? Why would you wanna do that? Why?
- Joey: Well, so that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
- Joey: Hey, you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
- Chandler: Only if you order stuff...
- Joey: I'm takin Ursula there, it's her birthday.
- Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What about Phoebe's birthday?
- Joey: When's that?
- Ross: Tonight!
- Joey: Oh, man... what are the odds of that happening?
- Ross: You take your time.
- Chandler: So tell me something: is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
- Monica Geller: No. You see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's, but obviously,
- [looks directly at Rachel]
- Monica Geller: someone forgot.
- Rachel Green: Well, *someone* was supposed to write, 'Rach, take down the lights,' and put it on the re...
- [sees the note]
- Rachel Green: frigera... how long has that been there?
- Monica Geller: You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job?
- Chandler: Yeah well you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights
- Monica Geller: Congratulations, I think you've found the worlds thinnest argument.
- Jamie Buchman: [Talking to Phoebe, thinking it's Ursula] Excuse me? Hi, it's us!
- Phoebe Buffay: Right, and it's me.
- Jamie Buchman: So you're here too.
- Phoebe Buffay: Much as you are.
- Jamie Buchman: [Talking to Fran] Your turn.
- Fran Devanow: We know what we want.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, that's good!
- Jamie Buchman: All we want is two coffee lattes.
- Fran Devanow: And some biscotti cookies.
- Phoebe Buffay: Good choice
- [walks away]
- Jamie Buchman: It's definitely her.
- Chandler: I was just going over your data here, and, little thing, you've been post-dating your Friday numbers.
- Nina: Which is bad because...?
- Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
- Nina: Your... excuse me?
- Chandler: WENUS. Weekly Estimated Net Usage...
- Nina: Oh... Net Usage Statistics. Right, gotcha. It won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... WENUS.
- Chandler: Mr. D, how's it going, sir?
- Mr. Douglas: It's been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
- Chandler: And?
- Mr. Douglas: It's pretty ugly. We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
- Ross: I don't know if he's testing me or he's just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. First, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine. Supposedly by accident.
- Rachel Green: Oh, yeah, I've done that.
- Ross: And then, like three days in a row, he got to the newspaper before I did and peed all over the crossword.
- Rachel Green: I've never done that.
- Rachel Green: [re Ursula, Phoebe's twin sister] Uhm, Phoebs, so you - you guys just don't get along?
- Phoebe Buffay: It's, just like dumb sister stuff, you know. I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know. Oh! Oh! She was the first one to start walking. Even though I did it... later that same day. But to my parents, by then, it was like, "Yeah, well, what else is new?"
- Ross: I'm Ross Geller, and that - that's my boy in there.
- [proudly puts his hand on Carol's belly]
- Ross: And this is Carol Willard, and this is Susan Bunch. Susan is Carol's, uh...
- [stammers, falters]
- Ross: Who's next?
- The Lamaze Teacher: I still didn't get who Susan is.
- Ross: Susan is... Carol's - Carol's - Carol's friend.
- Carol: Life partner.
- Ross: Life buddies.
- Susan Bunch: Life lovers.
- Ross: You know how close women can get.
- Carol: [explaining to the teacher] He's not living with me.
- Ross: Although I was married to her.
- Susan Bunch: Carol, not me.
- Ross: Uh, right.
- Carol: It's a little complicated.
- Susan Bunch: But we're fine.
- Ross: Absolutely.