Friends (TV Series)

The One with Rachel's Other Sister (2002)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ross : Hey, dude, are you okay? Sorry about before.

  Chandler Bing : No, that's okay. You're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings, and I want you to know that if I die you don't get Joey.

• Chandler : So, if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?

  Ross : [looks down]  No, that... that is not what we're saying.

  Joey : Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.

  Chandler : Well, what is wrong with me? Am I... Am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!

• Rachel Green : [Emma cries]  She needs changing.

  Chandler Bing : Oh no no, I'll get her. I am super competent, totally responsible, and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there, Emma, just let me get my trusty diaper bag.

  Chandler Bing : [accidentally knocks over a chair, spilling the box with the good china, smashing them to pieces]  Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one that dies first.

• Monica : [Chandler is setting the table with the good china]  Careful... careful... CAREFUL!

  Chandler Bing : I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise.

• Amy : Ok, how about this? If you guys die, and the crazy plate lady dies then do I get the baby?

  Chandler Bing : No, if crazy plate lady... if Monica dies then I would get Emma, right?

  Rachel : Well, actually...

  Chandler Bing : Actually, what?

  Ross : It's just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents.

  Chandler Bing : What?

  Amy : [to Chandler]  Hurts, doesn't it?

  Joey : Who has to die for me to get her?

• Chandler Bing : So, if Monica's not around I'm not good enough to raise Emma?

  Ross : No, that is not what we are saying

  [looks down] 

  Ross : .

  Joey : Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.

  Chandler Bing : Well, what is wrong with me? Am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you.

• Chandler Bing : You know, I can talk to the producers for you, I'm a great liar. Take Monica's dress, I said I loved it, I *hate* it.

  Monica : Hey!

  Chandler Bing : I'm also a great moron.