"Friends" The One with Phoebe's Husband (TV Episode 1995) Poster

David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller

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Quotes 

  • Monica : I saw you eat a cheeseburger!

    [Everyone gasps] 

    Monica : Well, didn't you?

    Phoebe : I might have.

    Monica : I can't believe you didn't tell me.

    Phoebe : C'mon. Like you tell me everything?

    Monica : What haven't I told you?

    Phoebe : Oh I don't know. How about the fact that the underwear out on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace!

    [Everyone runs to the window to look] 

    Monica : Who told you that?

    [Looks at Chandler] 

    Monica : You are dead meat.

    Chandler : I didn't know if was a big secret.

    Monica : Oh, it's not big. Not at all. You know, kind of the same as, I don't know, a third nipple!

    Phoebe : [Gasps]  You have a third nipple?

    Chandler : [to Monica]  You bitch!

    Ross : Whip it out! Whip it out!

    Chandler : No. C'mon! There's nothing to see. It's a tiny bump. It's totally useless.

    Rachel : As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?

    Joey : I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin!

    Ross : Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?

    Joey : I don't know. You see something, you hear a word. I thought that was it. Let me see it again!

    Ross : Yes! Show us your nubbin!

    Chandler : [Doesn't know what to say while everyone comes at him]  Joey was in a porno movie!

    [Everyone gasps. Joey is shocked Chandler would say that] 

    Chandler : If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.

  • Ross : So, does it do something special?

    Chandler : Why yes Ross. Pressing my third nipple, it opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.

  • Rachel Green : Maybe you should put it off.

    Ross Geller : No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.

    Rachel Green : I know, yeah, sorry.

    Ross Geller : What, it's not your fault.

    Rachel Green : Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.

    Ross Geller : Really?

    Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.

    Ross Geller : [being drawn in by her talk]  Uh-huh.

    Rachel Green : And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.

    Ross Geller : Ohh. . . Thanks Rach, goodnight.

    [goes back in apartment] 

    Rachel Green : Ohh, God.

  • Ross Geller : [after Ross danced in the street, he said good morning to two elderly ladies, who was sitting on a bench. Then one of them said the other one in a subdued tone: "Well, somebody got some last night". Some seconds later Ross talked them happily:]  Twice!

  • Chandler : [about Joey's cameo in a porn movie]  What's this in my pocket? It's Joey's porn video!

    Rachel : C'mon guys; let's not watch it. Porn is degrading to women and degrading to females and... help me out, Monica.

    Monica : Are you kidding? I want to see Joey!

    Chandler : [the porn video takes place in an office]  *That* is the damnedest typing test I have ever seen.

    Rachel : Wow, I hope she gets the job.

    Ross : I'd say he is the one getting *the job*.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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