Friends (TV Series)
The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance (1999)
Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing
Quotes
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Chandler : I don't know what to say Joe, there's never a good time to stop... catching on fire.
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Joey : Probably a residual cheque. Can you open it? I got...
[shows his hands tied with string]
Chandler : Benefits Lasped.
Joey : Thats weird. I don't remember being in a movie called "Benefits Lapsed."
Chandler : [chuckles] It's not a cheque. They are saying your health insurance expired cause... you didn't work enough last year.
Joey : What? Let me see that. Oh no! This sucks. When I had health insurance I could... catch on fire, you know or get hit by a bus. Now I gotta be careful?
Chandler : I know what you mean, man, there's never a good time to stop... catching on fire.
Joey : Well, I guess I am gonna go get a job, I'll see ya later.
Chandler : Ok, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Joey : [mocking] Make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
[turns and walks into the door]
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Chandler : [to Phoebe] Joey has a hernia. But it's nothing a little laser eye surgery can't fix.
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[Joey has a bad hernia and is in massive pain]
Phoebe : Hey! Maybe you'll die!
Joey : [voice cracks] Chandler, I'm scared.
Phoebe : No, we can go together. Just don't wait too long, because I'm outta here sometimes before Friday.
Joey : But I don't wanna die.
Phoebe : No, no, it'll be fun. We'll come back and haunt these guys!
Joey : Wait, could I come back and haunt Monica and Rachel when they're in the shower?
Chandler : That's my girlfriend!
Joey : Hey, I'm dead!
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Joey : Oh-ooh-ooh! Y'know what's a good visual aide?
Dr. Ross Geller : Please don't say naked chicks.
Joey : Why not?
Dr. Ross Geller : I-I-I don't even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Y'know what? I'm just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks!
Chandler : That's the way I did it 'til I was nineteen.
[Ross looks at him]
Chandler : All right, twenty.
[Joey looks at him]
Chandler : Twenty-three.