Frasier (TV Series)
Lilith Needs a Favor (2003)
Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Would we sleep together?
Dr. Lilith Sternin : I thought we'd freeze your sperm.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Is that a yes or a no?
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[Frasier is in a booth, trying to make a sperm sample]
Dr. Lilith Sternin : Just a hint...
Dr. Frasier Crane : Lilith! If there is one thing I can do *by myself*, this is it!
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Guy in Waiting Room : Is this your first time?
Dr. Frasier Crane : No, I've been doing this since I was twelve.
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Dr. Lilith Sternin : I mapped out our dominant and recessive traits on a genome square, applied Mendel's laws, allowed for anomalies and concluded that you are the best biological choice.
Dr. Frasier Crane : I see. Well, as enticed as I am by your honeyed words, I'm gonna need some kissin'.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : [to Martin] You were eavesdropping?
Martin Crane : It was an accident and I only heard the part about her
[Lilith]
Martin Crane : wanting to have another baby with you.
Dr. Frasier Crane : She completely threw me.
Martin Crane : Well, I don't know why you're so surprised. She's seen what the Crane genes can do and she's coming back to the well.
Dr. Frasier Crane : How does one respond to something like that?
Martin Crane : Well, I bet if you say "No" she'll go to Niles.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Really, it's just so self-centered. I mean, she's got this all figured out for herself without the slightest consideration for my life.
Martin Crane : And Niles'll say "No" for sure. Which means only one thing. She'll come to the source. Me. The fountainhead.
Dr. Frasier Crane : What?
Martin Crane : Can you imagine? Lilith's and my kid would be brother to you and Niles and Freddie.
Dr. Frasier Crane : What are you talking about?
Martin Crane : And if you and Lilith got back together, you'd be his step-father and his brother and Niles would be your son and his own uncle. It's almost worth doing just so that I can tell the story.
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Dr. Lilith Sternin : Recently a subconscious yearning has tunneled its way to the surface and I now know what it is I need in order to make my life complete.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, that's wonderful news. How can I help?
Dr. Lilith Sternin : You can give me your sperm.
Dr. Frasier Crane : I beg your pardon?
Dr. Lilith Sternin : I want to have another baby.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, you certainly don't need me for that. Surely, someone in Boston must have sperm.
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[Frasier is about to make a sperm sample]
Dr. Lilith Sternin : Frasier! It probably doesn't matter, but try to think positive thoughts.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Thanks for that. I was going to think of the plight of the American Indian.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Lilith, what are you singing?
Dr. Lilith Sternin : Was I singing?
Dr. Frasier Crane : You were singing "My Dad Is the Gweatest Dad."
Dr. Lilith Sternin : Oh, you mean that song Frederick wrote for you when he was four.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : You can't use the past to fill what's missing in the present.
Dr. Frasier Crane : It's gone.