- Dr. Frasier Crane: Surely you must listen occasionally!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Of course I listen occasionally. It's just I'm usually busy between eleven and one.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: My show is on from two to five.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Obviously you've forgotten the semester I spent living in Paris. I'll have you know I had a torrid affair with a married woman.
- Roz Doyle: Really?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I'm sorry, Niles. I had no idea.
- Dr. Niles Crane: It's not something I boast about. The attraction was simply overpowering. Every Thursday, two o'clock, the Hotel De Boulogne. We'd arrive separately, climb the stairs, open the door... Ooh-la-la. Oh, what an embrace! Afterwards, she'd whisper to me, "There's something so sweet in your eyes, and it..."
- Dr. Frasier Crane: "does me so much good" said Emma Bovary! If you're going to steal a love life, don't steal from the classics, you imbecile!
- Caitlin: I cut out alcohol last year, along with processed sugar, dairy products and meat. Oh! I hope I'm not screwing up your menu. What are you serving?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, so far, parsley.
- Dr. Niles Crane: The only thing you two have in common is the faint impression of the word "Sealy" on your backsides.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I wanted to ask you... where do you see this going?
- Caitlin: Well, right now I'm heading to your earlobe, but if you care to reroute me, I'm open to suggestions
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Can I interest you a drink? I've just opened a bottle of Conte de Bruillet!
- Caitlin: Oh, you must have been saving it. Burgogne hasn't made a decent Beaujolais in years.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [smugly] Well, do you hear that, Niles? Our Caitlin is a fellow oenophile!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Frasier, I owe you an apology. You two are perfectly compatible. How long will it be before we're all standing outside a wedding chapel, pelting you both with whole-grain brown rice?
- Dr. Niles Crane: So, I understand you had a full dance card this weekend?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, indeed. I met a lovely young artist at the gallery opening on Saturday. We went out for coffee afterwards, and our date lasted until, well... the cows didn't actually come home, but I did hear mooing on the front porch!