Quotes
-
Roz Doyle : This isn't over between us. If you want to, I'll take this out on the street.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : That would hardly be fair. You'd have the home field advantage.
-
George : We have Frasier Crane on line one.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Frasier, you want to yell at me for that last call?
Dr. Frasier Crane : No, although I do believe that a gifted therapist can help two people put aside their anger and heal the differences between them.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Blah, blah, blah.
Dr. Frasier Crane : I have someone here with me today, someone you haven't seen for quite a while. There's something she'd like to tell you, something she's wanted to tell you for a long, long time.
[Roz shows Mrs. Mulhern in]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Mrs. Mulhern?
Mrs. Mulhern : [to Dr Nora] You little whore!
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Mother!
Mrs. Mulhern : So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateuse. You'll pay for that, missy!
Roz Doyle : [jumping for joy] I was wrong, Frasier! Your way IS better!
-
Dr. Frasier Crane : I have just one question...
Roz Doyle : What kind of vicious, judgmental, name-calling, machete-mouth bitch are you?
Dr. Frasier Crane : I was going for the less feisty version.
Roz Doyle : I heard what you said to that single mother yesterday. For your information, I happen to be a single mom too.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : That doesn't surprise me after watching you pounce on poor George like a Kodiak bear on a salmon.
-
Roz Doyle : I've been on the phone all day, digging up dirt on Dr. Nora, and you will not believe what I found!
Dr. Frasier Crane : Really?
Roz Doyle : I called the station where she used to work, and they couldn't wait to dish her. For starters, she has no medical degree.Her doctorate is in Physical Education!
Dr. Frasier Crane : She's a gym teacher?
Dr. Niles Crane : Wouldn't want to be the chubby kid in that gym class.
-
Roz Doyle : Her name isn't Fairchild, she was born Mulhern, and Little Miss Family Values has two divorces behind her, and an affair with a married man!
Dr. Frasier Crane : Tomorrow, I am going to drop this little bombshell to start my show, and end hers!
-
Dr. Niles Crane : If you attack her like that, aren't you just descending to her level?
Dr. Frasier Crane : You know, Roz, maybe they're right. I mean, look at what this woman has reduced me to already, trading barbs, yelling over the air. Now spreading rumors about her? Is that any way for a psychiatrist to deal with conflict?
Roz Doyle : Don't you wimp out on me!
Dr. Frasier Crane : Now, Roz, just think about it. There may be a better way. You know, Dr. Nora is clearly a damaged and angry woman. Maybe I could find out what's at the root of that anger and help her, also proving that my method of therapy is the more valid one.
-
Dr. Frasier Crane : Roz, Roz, please trust me, my way is better. Get in here.
[Frasier and Roz enter the waiting room]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Ah, Mrs. Mulhern. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, it's such a pleasure to meet you.
Mrs. Mulhern : Oh, Dr. Crane, I can't thank you enough for finding me and bringing me here.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, I was so moved by your story. It's a joy to do this for you.
Mrs. Mulhern : For twenty years I wondered where my little girl was, and if I'd ever see her again.
Roz Doyle : What did you two fight about to begin with?
Mrs. Mulhern : Oh, I blame myself. I thought the man she wanted to marry wasn't good enough for her, so she eloped. And I've been so afraid the emphysema would finish me before I could ask her forgiveness and tell her I love her.
-
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Alright, let's get right to our first caller. Whom do we have?
George : We have Jenny from Tacoma on line one.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Hello Jenny, I'm Dr. Nora and I'm here to help.
Jenny : Hi Dr. Nora, my boyfriend and I have been living together for about two years.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Are you having sex?
Jenny : Our sex life's not the problem, Miss, it's great, but whenever I mention marriage he changes the subject. Do you think that he's afraid of commitment?
Dr. Nora Fairchild : No, that's not it. Let me help you see this from a different perspective: you're a whore, Jenny.
Jenny : [gasps] Huh?
Dr. Nora Fairchild : You're sleeping with a man you're not married to, in my book that's a whore.
Jenny : Well I'm- I'm not a whore! I'm a flight attendant!
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Oh, you think there's no overlap?
[she laughs smugly]
Roz Doyle : [listening from the hall] Well, she's got her jitters under control.
Dr. Nora Fairchild : Wake up, Jenny, you have blown it. Dump this creep. Find a new guy and until you're Mrs. New Guy you keep those knees together, okay? Staple 'em! I don't care if you have to hop to the altar!
[she laughs again]
Dr. Nora Fairchild : God bless, honey! Who's next?
