Frasier (TV Series)
A Lilith Thanksgiving (1996)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
Quotes
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[Niles is preparing Thanksgiving turkey in Lilith's kitchen]
Niles : Where do you keep your saffron?
Lilith : Third cupboard.
Niles : Mm-hmm, and where do you keep your shallots?
Lilith : In the crisper. By the way, you still have to remove the entrails from the chest cavity.
Niles : In that case, where do you keep your ten-foot pole?
-
Martin : Why does Lilith have to tag along anyway?
Frasier : Well, she just didn't want to spend the holiday alone. Her husband is off in New Zealand exploring a volcano.
Martin : Well why couldn't she go with him?
Niles : Well because if she accidentally fell in, the shockwave from the hottest thing in nature meeting the coldest would actually crack the Earth in two.
[Niles and Martin laugh]
Frasier : [Not amused] As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze mercury.
Martin : Guys, let it go. Nobody's gonna win this one.
-
Martin : What's wrong?
Niles : Oh, just a little depressed. It's my first Thanksgiving without Maris.
Martin : Oh, yeah, I know, son. It's hard.
Niles : Do you remember the year I plopped that big wedge of pumpkin pie in front of her, and we all laughed? Then I put a big scoop of whipped cream on top of it and we laughed some more! Then her eyes welled up with tears and we all knew it was time to stop.
-
Frederick Crane : [licking the spoon] Uh oh, are there anchovies in this?
Dr. Niles Crane : Yeessss,
[turns around and sees Freddie broken out]
Dr. Niles Crane : Oh my God! I've never seen hives break out that fast.
[car pulls up outside]
Dr. Niles Crane : They're back!
Martin Crane : Uh Freddie, do you have any pills for this?
Frederick Crane : I've got pills for *everything*.