- Elyse Keaton: That's right, you had twins! Oh, I don't know what I'd do if I had twins. That must be an awful lot of work, isn't it?
- Irwin 'Skippy' Handelman: [Skippy reading] "My Summer Vacation by Alex P. Keaton, " age 6. "This summer, I went to the zoo. "It only cost 50 cents because I am a minor. "It cost my parents $1 because they are majors. "One day, I'd like to run the zoo and charge $2 to get in with no discounts for anybody. "