- Mallory Keaton: I can't help it that I'm not as smart as Alex is; it's not my fault.
- Elyse Keaton: It's not that you're not as smart as Alex - you're not as motivated as Alex!
- Steven Keaton: Napoleon wasn't as motivated as Alex.
- Jennifer Keaton: I scored a goal with my head!
- Mallory Keaton: Jen, I'm really happy for you.
- Jennifer Keaton: I also scored a goal with someone else's head.
- Alex P. Keaton: I made a mistake! Don't you think it takes a big man to admit that?
- Mallory Keaton: ...Evidently not.