- Psychiatrist: How do you know about Grant College?
- Alex P. Keaton: My sister Mallory goes there.
- Alex P. Keaton: [scoffs] Grant College - the school that offers a course in the opening of an umbrella.
- Psychiatrist: I got an "A" in that course.
- Alex P. Keaton: There are winners, and there are losers in life - and there's no getting around that.
- Psychiatrist: So... you think your father's a weak man, then?
- Alex P. Keaton: ...No.
- Psychiatrist: But you just said...
- Alex P. Keaton: Just let me finish.
- Psychiatrist: Sorry.
- Alex P. Keaton: ...I used to think that way; I'm embarrassed by it now... that I could be so blind to his strength. He has great love, my father - not just for his family, but for life. He doesn't have to make you wrong for him to be right; he doesn't have to make you a loser to be a winner himself... I wish I was more like my father.
- Alex P. Keaton: I was supposed to be in that car with him, Mal.
- Mallory Keaton: Yeah, but you weren't.
- Alex P. Keaton: No, I wasn't - I wasn't, and you know why? Because I was lazy, and because I was small; because I couldn't be bothered. My life was saved out of smallness, out of lack of generosity to a friend. I just don't get it, Mal - why am I still alive?
- Mallory Keaton: Because you still love to envy me?
- Alex P. Keaton: No, that's no answer.
- Mallory Keaton: I'm just joking, Alex.
- Alex P. Keaton: No! I should be with Greg! I should've been sitting right next to him, and I want answers because I can't keep going on like this.
- Alex P. Keaton: [breaks down] Why am I alive? Why am I alive? Why am I alive?