The Facts of Life (TV Series)

The New Girl: Part 1 (1980)

Nancy McKeon: Jo Polniaczek

Photos 

Quotes 

• Blair Warner : [insulting Jo's clothes]  She must think we're into nostalgia, she's still wearing flared jeans.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Uh, in a minute you're gonna be wearing flared teeth!

• Blair Warner : [offers hand]  Blair Warner.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : [sarcastically]  Charmed. Gloria Vanderbilt.

  [Jo shakes Blair's hand, staining it with motorcycle oil. Disgusted, Blair pulls her hand back] 

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : [teasing]  Oh, shame, did I get your hands dirty? You'd better go get it steam-cleaned or something.

  Blair Warner : Why, you little...

• Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : I'm sorry I messed up your flowers. Here, you want me to loan you some of my electric tape for your daisies?

  Edna Garrett : Oh, no, thanks, honey. Oh, but by the way, they were marigolds.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Right, marigolds. What do I know about flowers? In my neighborhood, the state flower was asphalt.

• Edna Garrett : But it's good to learn to live with new people. That's what school life is all about.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : [about Blair]  But she's not even real. She's a Barbie doll. You wind her up, and she says "I love you"... to herself.

• Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : So what... what do you do for men around here?

  Natalie Green : Blair, tell her about Bates Academy.

  [Natalie sits back, smiles dreamily] 

  Natalie Green : Preppy heaven!

  Blair Warner : It's our brother school. It's only a mile away. I'll fix you up.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Give me a break here! I'm talking about men, not high school boys.

  Blair Warner : These aren't boys. I happen to be dating a senior who happens to be nineteen.

  Tootie Ramsey : He's slow, but cute!

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : [to Blair]  You'll make the perfect roommate. I'll date the men, and you can have their little brothers.

  Tootie Ramsey : [savoring this]  Ooh!

  Blair Warner : Not that this is worth discussing, but since we are roommates and being so frank and honest, there isn't a man around who wouldn't prefer a Rolls-Royce... to a motorbike.

  Tootie Ramsey : [to Natalie, with glee]  This is gonna get good.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : [to Blair]  You know, you are kinda like a Rolls-Royce hood ornament, but guys don't dig little angels dipped in chrome.

  Tootie Ramsey : Did I lie?

  [Natalie shakes her head] 

  Blair Warner : [to Jo]  Fortunately for you, we don't move in the same circles, or I could show you which one of us a real man would go for.

• [a motorcycle stops outside] 

  Edna Garrett : What on earth's going on out there? Sounds like The Wild Bunch.

  [Jo enters, dressed in denim] 

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Uh, is this where I am supposed to be?

  Blair Warner : Ah, delivery boys usually use the back entrance.

  [Jo takes off the helmet, has ponytail] 

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Delivery boy? Give me a break! Is this where I'm supposed to check in?

  Blair Warner : I don't believe this!

  Natalie Green : You don't? I was gonna ask him to the Fall Dance!

  Edna Garrett : Hi! I'm Mrs. Garrett, the school nurse. You must be Jo, the new student.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Yeah, how did you know?

  Edna Garrett : Easy. I've never seen a motorcycle parked in my flower-bed before.

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : I thought they were weeds.

• Edna Garrett : Natalie, show Jo a better place to park her motorcycle, huh?

  Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek : Why don't I just park it on Blair's face?

  [Jo leaves] 

  Natalie Green : She's a breath of fresh air, isn't she?

  [Natalie follows Jo] 

  Blair Warner : [to Mrs. Garrett]  This must be an unlucky day for Geminis. For me to get stuck with Cheryl Thug.