- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: You know something, boss, those Duke boys were lying. They were lying just like a tombstone. That man was no more Luke Duke's brother than I am second cousin to a jackass.
- Boss Hogg: Yeah, well he is and you are.
- Tex Tompkins: A good cop is a public servant. And if he's a bad cop, well... he's my kind o' people.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: [Rosco & Boss are stuck in their own jail] Boss, listen, I can't reach those keys.
- Boss Hogg: I knew you were short on brains but I never thought it went all the way down to your arms.
- The Balladeer: [narrating] Now you can't see the wheels spinnin' in Enos' head, cause they're so tiny. But, they're really hummin'.