- Philip Drummond: [reading Willis' comment in the paper] If God had meant for us to smoke He would've given us chimneys on our faces instead of noses.
- Jerry Fuller: You can't do this to me. The election's only three weeks away, what'll I do for a candidate?
- Philip Drummond: Oh that'll be easy. You just find this Jewish fellow married to an Italian wife, and they adopt a couple of Puerto Rican and Chinese kids and just happen to have an elderly black housekeeper with an Irish boyfriend.
- [Adelaide and the kids come out and cheer him on]
- Willis Jackson: That's telling him, Dad.
- Adelaide Brubaker: I heard that over the hill remark, sonny!
- Arnold Jackson: We'll vote for you next year.
- Kimberly Drummond: Arnold, we're not old enough to vote.
- Arnold Jackson: Oh yeah? If you put all our ages together we're old enough to vote, have a beer, and see a dirty movie.