The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

No Rice at My Wedding (1965)

Van Williams: Clark Rice

Quotes 

• Clark Rice : What's WITH that guy?

  Laura Meehan : I don't know! I don't know and I don't care! I never COULD figure him out. Sometimes he seems so... and then the other times he just doesn't. Once he even - and for no reason - and what was I to do. Did I ever tell you he broke my foot? Well, he did. He broke my foot. You see, Rob's the kind of a guy who... I mean, I always felt that if I ever, he'd be the last, because... Well, YOU! You're so... and... but I don't know WHY, Clark. I do, though. I really do. He's just so adora... adora...

  Clark Rice : Adorable?

  Laura Meehan : You see it, too, don't you?

• Clark Rice : Uh, you know the, uh, fortune cookie tonight said a new person was coming into your life? Pay attention to him?

  Laura Meehan : Yeah, but you made me go through fifteen of 'em before we found one that said THAT.

• Clark Rice : Look, I don't wanna be used to spite someone else. That's what you're doing, isn't it?

  Laura Meehan : No, it isn't.

  Clark Rice : Then why the sniffles?

  Laura Meehan : It's the rain.

  Clark Rice : You sure it's not Petrie?

  Laura Meehan : Well, what's the difference? Rain, Rob, they're both big drips.