The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
No Rice at My Wedding (1965)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Laura Meehan : Rob, are you upset about this whole thing?
Rob Petrie : [emphatically] No.
Laura Meehan : Well, then how come those papers are pinned to my legs?
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Laura Meehan : Then you're not upset about tonight?
Rob Petrie : No, honest, not a bit.
Laura Meehan : Well, if-if you are - just, you know, a little bit - just remember that all the time I'm out with him I'll be thinking of you.
Rob Petrie : Ah, that's sweet. And all the time you're out with him I'll be thinkin' of me, too.
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Rob Petrie : Well... uh... now... uh, the emcee is gonna kiss the... the... Bivouac Beauty.
Heckler : Hey, they never did THAT before!
Rob Petrie : Progress, buddy. Progress.
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[Rob mistakenly kisses Millie]
Rob Petrie : Millie, what're you doin' here?
Millie Crumberbacher : I forget. Ooo, I didn't give you enough points!
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Sam Pomerantz : Look, pal, you're raffling her off, right?
Rob Petrie : Yeah.
Sam Pomerantz : Well, so, I might be the winner.
Rob Petrie : Sam, you're my friend!
Sam Pomerantz : Right, Rob, to the end - but if I win her, that's the end.
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Rob Petrie : Oh, hi, Sam.
Sam Pomerantz : What did I do?
Rob Petrie : Nothin', nothin', uh... You're just not Laura, that's all.
Sam Pomerantz : That's what everybody says.
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Rob Petrie : They shouldn't allow a love-sick soldier with a loaded projector.
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Rob Petrie : You've got exactly five minutes.
Laura Meehan : Five minutes?
Rob Petrie : That's right. The warden is on the wall right now talking to the convicts. Now if you're not back by the time the convicts grab the priest, you can forget about me.
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Rob Petrie : The rules of the contest have been changed. The two armed guards will go along on the date.