The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Hustling the Hustler (1962)
Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell
Photos
Quotes
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Blackie Sorrell : She knew the way I earned a buck. She knew the whole bit. We got along pretty good. She said to me, "Blackie, you have a choice: Either you can go on hustling as you have been, shaming your family and your friends, or you can marry me and share a wonderful life and my two and a half million dollar inheritance."
Buddy Sorrell : You're kidding.
Blackie Sorrell : [pulling out a photograph] Here's a picture of the two and a half million.
Buddy Sorrell : She got two and a half million?
Blackie Sorrell : That's right.
Buddy Sorrell : And you married her?
Blackie Sorrell : Heh, that's my wife.
Buddy Sorrell : You know, she could be a lot uglier for two and a half million.
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Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : I hope I'm not disturbing anything.
Buddy Sorrell : No, I was expecting a headache anyway.
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[Sally is making Buddy donate 25 cents to charity whenever he insults Mel]
Buddy Sorrell : Hey, Sally, what'll it cost me to call him a big, blubber-nosed baboon?
Sally Rogers : Oh, that'll run you roughly 75 cents.
Buddy Sorrell : Can't afford it.
Buddy Sorrell : [to Mel] You're not a big, blubber-nosed baboon.
[Mel smiles and nods; Buddy puts 25 cents in Sally's can]
Buddy Sorrell : You're a small, blubber-nosed baboon.
[puts another 25 cents in the can]
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Blackie Sorrell : Just to see you, I came all the way from Brazil.
Buddy Sorrell : Well, I got all the coffee beans I can use.
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Blackie Sorrell : What do I have to do to convince you I'm on the level?
Buddy Sorrell : Leave town.
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Buddy Sorrell : All right, tell me, what finally made you go straight?
Blackie Sorrell : The love of a good woman.
Buddy Sorrell : Oooooo.
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Buddy Sorrell : All right, wise guy, whadda ya want here?
Blackie Sorrell : Nothing! It's just that I'm getting old and I... I wanna set a few things right before my good looks fade away. You know, nobody believes I was a homely child.
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Buddy Sorrell : Sally, I told you, he's not your type.
Sally Rogers : Is he single?
Buddy Sorrell : Yeah.
Sally Rogers : He's my type.