Joel Murray: Pete Cavanaugh

Quotes 

• [At the beginning of an arbitration between Greg's mother Kitty and Dharma's father Larry, with Pete as the arbitrator, Larry begins his opening statement with a reading of the U.S. Constitution and begins to read the Magna Carta] 

  Greg Montgomery : I object!

  Larry Finkelstein : On what grounds?

  Greg Montgomery : On the grounds that you-you, you scared my mother, she fell down, went boom, end of story! Why are you making this so complicated?

  Larry Finkelstein : Your honor, that's not an objection. That's a speech!

  Pete Cavanaugh : That's quite right, Mr. Finkelstein. Objection overruled.

  Greg Montgomery : Uh, permission to approach the bench?

  Pete Cavanaugh : For what purpose?

  Greg Montgomery : To kill you.

  Pete Cavanaugh : Denied. Continue, Mr. Finkelstein.

• [Kitty reluctantly admits that her $1.5 million dollar lawsuit against Larry was initiated when her tailbone injury forced her to use an inflatable donut cushion while sitting next to the mayor at a fundraiser and the cushion made a sound imitating flatulence] 

  Larry Finkelstein : Would the plaintiff please demonstrate for the court how the alleged sound was allegedly made?

  Kitty Montgomery : I most certainly will not!

  Larry Finkelstein : Your honor?

  Pete Cavanaugh : The witness will comply, under the, uh..."this-I-gotta-see" rule.