Dallas (TV Series)

Return Engagements (1979)

Larry Hagman: J.R. Ewing

Quotes 

• J.R. Ewing : Sue Ellen, I hope you're not thinking of taking advantage of my absence.

  Sue Ellen Ewing : Well, of course not, J.R. There's no need to worry. I intend to be just as discreet as you are.

• J.R. Ewing : That's Eugene Bullock over there. He's just as rich as Croesus. Has his own fleet of tankers.

• Eugene Bullock : Sally, tell Ewing why you married me.

  Sally Bullock : Money.

  Eugene Bullock : [J.R. laughs]  Ain't she wonderful? Perfect. Hell, I'd rather leave it to her than those weasels I bred.

  [to Kristin:] 

  Eugene Bullock : Take a page from Sally's book, sweetheart. Tell the outrageous truth. Don't strain this aging Ewing's credibility by asking him to believe that you really care for him.

  Kristin Shepard : Mr. Bullock, I don't think you understand. J.R. is my brother-in-law, Sue Ellen, my older sister, is his wife. I'm here as a secretary.

  [Sally finds this endlessly amusing] 

  Eugene Bullock : When I give advice... smart people take it.

  J.R. Ewing : Well, I'll drink to that.

  [grins] 

• J.R. Ewing : Sue Ellen, why didn't you call me and let me know what was going on?

  Sue Ellen Ewing : Well, maybe it's because I don't care anymore who rules the roost at Southfork. Or maybe, it's, eh, because I enjoy seeing you not get what you want.

  J.R. Ewing : Well, If I lose, you lose, too, honey. Just remember that.

  Sue Ellen Ewing : Well, maybe I don't care about that anymore either.

• J.R. Ewing : [old melody on turntable]  Why does Mama have to play that record over and over again? It's starting to get to me. I never did like it.

  Lucy Ewing : Why? Because it was one of my Daddy's favorites?

  J.R. Ewing : Oh, why does she have to keep playing it over and over again anyway?

  Bobby Ewing : Because it's Gary's birthday, J.R.

  J.R. Ewing : Hmm. I wish she'd stop. Especially the mood she's been in lately. No point in brooding over a no-account like Gary.

  Lucy Ewing : [seething]  Don't you talk about my Daddy like that, J.R.!

  Bobby Ewing : A man doesn't have to be the president of a corporation to amount to something, J.R.

• Kristin Shepard : I thought we were playing tennis this morning, J.R.

  J.R. Ewing : Oh, we are, we are, just as soon as I get a few things straightened out with Sally. And, meanwhile, I'm sure you could find something to keep yourself amused.

  Kristin Shepard : I'm sure I can, if I put my mind to it.

  [goes off in a huff] 

  Sally Bullock : That's a very demanding secretary.

  J.R. Ewing : But useful. Very useful.

  [both chuckle merrily]