- J.R. Ewing: Well the next thing you know, the name of that actress is gonna be 'Farah Fawcet-Guzzler'. I never heard a man talk so much in my whole life. Babbles on like a... blue idiot.
- Jock Ewing: Guzzler, lets you and I go in and have a taste of brandy.
- The Guzzler: Sir, I thought you'd never ask.
- Jock Ewing: I wanna find out if you're still a champion drinker.
- The Guzzler: Yes, Sir!
- Pamela Barnes Ewing: It must be a strain always being so charming and witty, Guzzler.
- The Guzzler: Matter of fact, Pam, it is.
- Pamela Barnes Ewing: Simmer down, Guzzler. I'm not here because of your charm.
- The Guzzler: Well if it's not my great body you're after, then forget it,'cause it's too early in the morning to talk.
- Bobby Ewing: [Bobby and the Guzzler are in the Ewing swimming pool] Come on, sweetheart, join us!
- Pamela Barnes Ewing: Oh no, you boys go on and play, I'll go upstairs and blow up your rubber duckie.
- The Guzzler: Daddy's still running Ewing Oil?
- Bobby Ewing: No, no, Daddy spends all of his time on the ranch. Now J.R. runs the company.
- The Guzzler: Mr. Milk of Human Kindness himself.
- [takes huge sip of his drink]
- The Guzzler: [quoting] Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice.
- [failing to gain positive response, gets up]
- The Guzzler: Hell, I've been bending everybody's ear all evening.
- Bobby Ewing: I wanna see if you can still catch a football.
- The Guzzler: All right.
- [Lucy smiles up at him as he leaves with Bobby]
- Jock Ewing: Guzzler. Hope you can stick around a while.
- Miss Ellie Ewing: [smiling] We'd love to have you.
- Lucy Ewing: [grinning] That goes double for me.