The Cosby Show (TV Series)

Denise Kendall: Navy Wife (1989)

Bill Cosby: Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable

Quotes 

• Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : I am a doctor for women.

  Olivia Kendall : What do you do with them?

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : I deliver their babies.

  Olivia Kendall : Deliver?

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : When the woman has the baby inside of her, then I go in and I take it out.

  Olivia Kendall : No you don't. Everybody knows that the stork brings the baby.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Who told you that?

  Olivia Kendall : My daddy.

• Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [unable to see that he is fighting a losing battle]  Okay. Well, the stork puts the baby inside of the mother...

  [Olivia shakes her head] 

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : ...and then I go in and I take it out.

  Olivia Kendall : Ah aah. The stork brings the baby to the hospital and drops it in the bassinet.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : So you say that the baby is not inside the mummy?

  [Olivia nods in agreement] 

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Then why is it that the mother gets real big?

  Olivia Kendall : Because she eats a lot of food.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Now let me get this straight. You say that the stork carries over, puts the baby in the bassinet, and the mother is real big because she eats a lot of food?

  Olivia Kendall : You got it.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : I see. Well, then why is it that the mother has to go to the hospital?

  Olivia Kendall : The stork brings the baby to the hospital, drops it in the bassinet. The mummy goes to the hospital and gets it.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [not yet ready to admit defeat]  If the stork does all that, why doesn't the stork just bring it to the mummy's house?

  Olivia Kendall : [makes a gesture of impatience]  Because it's too far. His wings will get tired.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Where does the stork get the babies from?

  Olivia Kendall : Heaven.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Okay. There is a zillion skillion babies in Heaven. How does the stork know what baby goes with what mother?

  Olivia Kendall : They are in a line. You know like you go to the baker and get a number.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [still not ready to admit defeat]  Why when I put my hand on the mother I can feel things moving all around?

  Olivia Kendall : That's not a baby.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : What is it?

  Olivia Kendall : Gas.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [finally realizing he has lost]  Well thank you for explaining it to me.

  Olivia Kendall : You're welcome, but you still haven't told me what you do.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : I'm in charge of gas.