Clone High (TV Series)

Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand (2002)

Phil Lord: Principal Dr. Cinnamon J. Scudworth, Genghis Khan

Quotes 

• Scudworth : [looking into a periscope in his office at Joan and Abe]  Young, unsuspecting clones. Little do they know... I control them!

  Scudworth : [raises the periscope, which reveals Scudworth's head, wearing a folded paper pirate hat]  The greatest minds the world has ever known! For what is more powerful than a high school PRINCIPAL?

  Shadowy Figure : [voice from the shadows]  Doctor Scudworth!

  Shadowy Figure : [Scudworth yelps, as the man steps out of the shadows]  I'm sorry to disturb you but there's growing concern among the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures that you may be... completely insane.

  Scudworth : Blasphemy!

  [Scudworth slowly removes his pirate hat and places it in a drawer marked Pirate Hats. He smiles at the Shadowy Figure] 

  Shadowy Figure : Yeah well you do have a robotic butler named Mr. Butlertron.

  Mr. Butlertron : [Mr. Butlertron enters, carrying a tray]  Anyone for scooooones?

  Scudworth : [Takes a scone]  Why creating a mechanical British servant is no more eccentric than that tie you're wearing!

  Mr. Butlertron : [Shadowy Figure looks down. He's not wearing a tie. Mr. Butlertron's tray reemerges, carrying a tea pot and a cup]  More tea, Wesley?

  Scudworth : He calls everyone Wesley. Don't know why.

  Shadowy Figure : Yeah that's facinating. But we're paying you to monitor these clones as closely as possible, so if you wanna keep your job, you can either write a report proving you know what it's like to be a student at Clone High...

  Scudworth : [Interrupting]  I'll do no such thing!

  Shadowy Figure : -Or I'll kill you.

  Scudworth : [Typing on the computer]  I'll title it, What It's Like to Be a Teenage Clone, colon, A Rope of Sand.

  Mr. Butlertron : [Mr. Butlertron enters scene]  Good title, it draws the reader in without giving too much away.

  Mr. Butlertron : [Long pause]  Wesleeeey.

• Eleanor Roosevelt : [Eleanor Roosevelt has a rather mannish physique]  It's time for the Presidential Fitness Test! Where we make you even more insecure about your body by judging you while you perform arbitrary physical tasks!

  Abe : Can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt as our gym teacher.

  Joan of Arc : Yeah he's great. Hey Abe, tonight I finally have a night off from the help hotline, which is community service, and I wanted to know if you wanted to carpool to JFK's party...

  Joan of Arc : [Becoming apparent that Abe isn't listening]  You know, to save gas...

  Eleanor Roosevelt : [Interrupts and gets in Joan's face]  You like talking, Of Arc? Well you can TALK your tight little buns on down to the Principal Scudworth's office!

  Eleanor Roosevelt : [Joan leaves, Eleanor Roosevelt watching her]  Slowwwwwly. Ohhhhhh yeah.