Freddie Prinze: Chico Rodriguez

Quotes 

• Chico Rodriguez : [Chico comes out of the van, sees Charlie holding a gun on Ed, and strikes a martial-arts pose and begins making vocalized noises]  Yaah! Waah! Ooh!

  Ed Brown : What's the matter with you? Take it easy with all that karate stuff! This man is harmless!

  Chico Rodriguez : So am I. I only know the sounds.

• Ed Brown : Oh! Pardon me, Miss, I beg your pardon. But can I do anything for you?

  Hooker : Funny, Sailor, I was just about to ask you the same thing.

  Ed Brown : How do you like that? First time my ship comes in and I've sunk my pier.

  Hooker : Poor baby.

  Ed Brown : I'm sorry.

  Hooker : Who's your friend?

  [as she looks at Chico] 

  Chico Rodriguez : Can I help you, Madame?

  Hooker : Don't call me, Madame. I work alone.

• Chico Rodriguez : [Chico, masquerading as the Stocking Bandit, looks at the hooker after everyone else has placed their valuables on the table]  You too, Mama. Put your valuables on there.

  Hooker : [With her hands raised and without saying a word, she slowly walks over and sits down on the edge of the table] 

• Chico Rodriguez : [Charlie comes stumbling into the garage after his fight with Bubba. Ed and Chico sit him down in front of the gas pump]  Man, I never expected to see you alive again!

  Charlie : [Breathlessly]  I beat him! I beat him!

  Ed Brown : You beat Bubba? You must be a fantastic fighter!

  Charlie : I'm a lousy fighter! I'm a fantastic runner!

• Chico Rodriguez : [Charlie is getting ready to fist fight Bubba outside the garage]  Listen Charlie, Don't go out there with Bubba. He'll break your arms and use them as splints for your legs. He'll weave your fingers into a basket and stick you in it, man.

  Charlie : No kidding. He'll have to kill me first.

• Officer Francis X. Harroway : [Holding the back of Charlie's collar and roughly and hurriedly pushing him forward, into the garage]  I just caught the guy who held you up!

  Ed Brown : [Pointing at Charlie]  He held me up?

  Chico Rodriguez : [Pointing to Charlie and then to Ed]  You held him up?

  Charlie : [Referring to Ed and then pointing to the policeman]  I held him up? He's holding me up!

• Officer Francis X. Harroway : Here's the money. Here's the gun. He used the gun to get the money. That's illegal.

  Chico Rodriguez : Well, how did you get the money back from him?

  Officer Francis X. Harroway : I took out my gun and he gave me the money.

  Chico Rodriguez : But you just said getting money with a gun is illegal. I rest my case!

• Chico Rodriguez : [Hurriedly coming into the garage, after the first holdup and passing by Ed]  Buenos Noches, Ed.

  Ed Brown : Hey! Where do you think you're going? You're an hour late! Where've you been?

  Chico Rodriguez : Well, you see, I got held up. We were making out in the movie theater, we were making out in the back of the car, we were making out when we said good night.

  Ed Brown : What took you so long?

  Chico Rodriguez : It was three different girls.