- Sam Malone: [to Norm, Cliff and Pete] Why do you guys remember my love life better than I do?
- Norm Peterson: Well, I think it meant more to us, Sammy.
- Laurie Marlowe: I'm fine, Mr Malone.
- Sam Malone: Mr Malone? Hey, come on, I'm the same guy that used to push you on the swings, and gave you piggyback rides, and played with you in the bathtub...
- Judy Marlowe: [interrupting Sam] No, that was me.
- Cliff Clavin: [upon hearing Sam wants to take his former girlfriend's attractive daughter to the Zoo] Zoo's are kind of sad, y'know? I mean all those seditery animals: can't move, can't run free. They just, uh, sit there and drink, and, shovel food in their faces.
- Norm Peterson: [who happens to have been drinking beer and shoveling peanuts into his face during this time] That man, is no kind of life.
- Sam Malone: Sweetheart, I've handled trickier situations than this before. Remember that time I dated, those lovely Henshaw Triplets all at the same time?
- Carla LeBec: Sammy, first of all, that was back when you were drinking like a fish. And second of all, that was one chick.
- Judy Marlowe: Guess what?
- Sam Malone: What?
- Judy Marlowe: My daughter Laurie came along to say 'Hi.'
- Sam Malone: You know, I'd love to see her again. Weren't the three of us-didn't we have fun together? Huh?
- Judy Marlowe: You were always a great 'Uncle Sammy.' A lot of men get jealous-they don't want to share.
- Sam Malone: Hey, I hope I never get so possessive that I'm not willing...
- Laurie Marlowe: [walks into the bar, not the little girl Sam remembers, but a grown-up and attractive young woman] Hi, Mom!
- Sam Malone: -to share!
- Sam Malone: Say Laurie, I want to tell you how happy I am that you feel you can come and talk to me, because I feel that you and I have this-
- [suddenly notices a ring on her finger]
- Sam Malone: . Oh look at that. A new ring?
- Laurie Marlowe: That's what I came to ask you.
- Sam Malone: What?
- Laurie Marlowe: I'm getting married, and I want you to give me away!
- Sam Malone: [covering up how he 'really feels'] Why you little slu-y one.