- [the gang are trying to think of stories that will totally gross out Norm]
- Woody Boyd: How about someone coming in from the field who's been working all day while you're sitting down at the dinner table and they got no shirt on and their chest hair's all matted down.
- Norm Peterson: That's kind of unpleasant, Wood, but it's not really gross.
- Woody Boyd: That's because you never met Grandma.
- Paul Krapence: Where's Norm and Cliff?
- Woody Boyd: Ah, I guess they're at work. I don't know.
- Paul Krapence: You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: First, you get me to get this one million dollar life insurance policy, now you're badgering me about the will. Lilith, I'm practically afraid to start my car in the morning.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Frasier, I'm a scientist. If I wanted to kill you, I could certainly think of more clever ways to do it than that. Something subtle, something that couldn't be traced back to me.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: [slyly] Drink your drink, darling.
- [Frasier has a scared look on his face]
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: You are so cute when you fear for your life.