- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Why don't you go make love to your accountant?
- [she walks out]
- Norm Peterson: You know, if more people followed that advice, this world would be such a happier place.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [after Lilith buys Sam in a bachelor auction] Oh Sam, Sam, I've got to talk to you. You can't go through with this.
- Sam Malone: Come on man, she's only doing it to make you jealous.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: God, I'm losing her Sam.
- Sam Malone: No, would you stop that, man. You're my friend. I'm never going to take a woman away from you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What about Diane?
- Sam Malone: And didn't God punish me with a vengeance?
- Rebecca Howe: This is great! We're just $2,000 away from breaking the record. How many guys do we have left?
- Carla LeBec: Just Sammy.
- Rebecca Howe: Oh well, there's always next year.
- Sam Malone: Two thousand dollars? Oh, gee, I might actually have to comb my hair.
- [he walks away]
- Rebecca Howe: Come on you guys, there's no way he can get that by himself. God, if we just had one more hunk.
- Cliff Clavin: All right, all right, all right.
- [he gets up]
- Rebecca Howe: Mr. Clavin, that is a really sweet gesture, but isn't there some regulation against government employees in uniform participating in this kind of a thing?
- Cliff Clavin: Oh, that is a very salient point, and one which I came within a hair of overlooking. I thank you.
- [he shakes her hand]
- Cliff Clavin: Boy, I shudder to think what might of happened.
- Norm Peterson: We all do.