- Tony Mann: Now they're killing off the centerfolds.
- Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] That's where you come in.
- Kelly Garrett: As centerfolds?
- Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Kelly, when you took this job you knew there'd be a lot of undercover work.
- Jill Munroe: That's not undercover, that's not any cover at all.
- Sabrina Duncan: [having just been insulted by Tony's young girlfriend] I'll tell you what, cheer up. Soon as I'm outta here, you can run right down to the local high school and check out the graduation class.
- Tony Mann: You don't like me very much, do you?
- Sabrina Duncan: No, no, it's not that. I just wish you'd recognize a small portion of the female population.
- Tony Mann: Which portion?
- Sabrina Duncan: The ones over twenty.
- Jill Munroe: Who's he?
- Paula: Dave Erhart. Tony's right hand man. He's a real prince. He brightens up a room just by leaving it.
- Jill Munroe: Would you like to order dinner now?
- Customer: Sure, if you're on the menu?
- Jill Munroe: [laughs] I bet you were up all night thinking of that.
- Sabrina Duncan: Well, we did the one thing that Charlie advised us against. We got emotionally involved.
- Tony Mann: We?
- Sabrina Duncan: Me.
- Tony Mann: You mean I'm not the male chauvinist pig you thought I was?
- Sabrina Duncan: Oh, you are that, but you're also loyal and you care about people.
- Tony Mann: You mean that, that's all it takes to get to you?
- Sabrina Duncan: What can I tell ya? I always was a soft sell.
- Sabrina Duncan: What about his hair? This secrecy's gone on long enough. How tall is Charlie?
- Kelly Garrett: What color are his eyes?
- John Bosley: Now, now ladies, you know I cannot divulge anything.
- Jill Munroe: Could you at least tell us his shirt size? How else are we gonna get him a present for his birthday?
- John Bosley: His birthday? Where were you when it was my birthday? Nobody asked about that, nobody!
- Jill Munroe: [about her footwear] These have to be designed by the Marquis de Sade. They're so uncomfortable.
- Jill Munroe: Hey, you don't know what circulation problems are until you've had on one of those Feline costumes.