- Officer Francis Llewellyn 'Ponch' Poncherello: Yeah, well, y'know, like they say in the oil fields, "That's Shah business!"
- Officer Jon Baker: [on patrol with the Sheik] Why don't you just relax? Maybe you'll learn something.
- Barney: I've learned all I care to know. You write citations, the fines get paid, the government gets richer. You know what you are, the both of you? You're nothing more than tax collectors in fancy uniforms.