Blackadder the Third (TV Series)

Duel and Duality (1987)

Hugh Laurie: The Prince Regent, their master

Photos 

Quotes 

• Prince George : Please please. You've got to help me. I don't want to die. I've got so much to give. I want more time.

  Blackadder : A poignant plea sir. Enough to melt the stoniest of hearts. But the answer, I'm afraid, must remain: "You're going to die, fat pig."

  Prince George : Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'll give you everything.

  Blackadder : Everything?

  Prince George : Everything.

  Blackadder : The money, the castles, the jewelry?

  Prince George : Yes.

  Blackadder : The highly artistic but also highly illegal set of French lithographs?

  Prince George : Everything.

  Blackadder : The amusing clock where the little man comes out and drops his trousers every half hour?

  Prince George : Yes, yes, all right.

  Blackadder : Very well, I accept. A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally I'd mud wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock, and a sack of French porn. You're on.

  Prince George : Hurrah!

• Prince George : [the Prince has been shot]  I die! I hope men will say of me that I did duty by my country.

  Blackadder : I think that's pretty unlikely, sir. If I were you, I'd try for something a bit more realistic.

  Prince George : Like what?

  Blackadder : Ah, you hope that men will think of you as a bit of a thicky?

  Prince George : All right, I'll hope that.

• Prince George : It's like that story. "The Prince and the Porpoise."

  Blackadder : "and the Pauper," sir.

  Prince George : Ah yes. "The Prince and the Porpoise and the Pauper."

• Prince George : Ah, Blackadder! Notice anything unusual?

  Blackadder : Yes sir. It's 11:30 in the morning and you're moving about. Is the bed on fire?

• Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince : Sir, it may interest you to know that the Iron Duke has always let it be known that he will kill in cold blood anyone who takes sexual advantage of any of his relatives.

  The Prince Regent, their master : Yes, but Bignose Wellington is in Spain fighting the French! He'll never know!

  Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince : On the contrary, sir, Wellington triumphed six months ago.

  The Prince Regent, their master : [after a pause]  I'm dead.

  Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince : It would seem so, sir.

• Prince George : I spent a night of ecstasy with a pair of Wellingtons and I loved it.

• Prince George : Perhaps this disgusting fellow is some sort of blessing in disguise.

  Blackadder : If he is, it's a very good disguise.

  Prince George : After all, did the Lord not send Moses a lowly earthworm to comfort him in his torment?

  Blackadder : Nope.

  Prince George : Well, it's the sort of thing he might have done.