Blackadder the Third (TV Series)

Dish and Dishonesty (1987)

Hugh Laurie: The Prince Regent, their master

Photos 

Quotes 

• Prince George : You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

• Blackadder : Sir, may I be allowed a short violent outburst?

  Prince George : Why yes of course.

  Blackadder : DAMN.

• Blackadder : [plotting to gain Sir Talbot's support in Parliament]  However, if we're going to get him to support us, he will need some sort of incentive.

  Prince George : Hmm, anything in mind?

  Blackadder : Well, you could appoint him a high court judge.

  Prince George : Is he qualified?

  Blackadder : He's a violent, bigoted, mindless old fool.

  Prince George : Sounds a bit over-qualified. Well, get him here at once.

  Blackadder : Certainly, sir. I will return before you can say 'antidisestablishmentarianism.'

  Prince George : Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that! Antidistibilitsmin... anti-misty-linstimbl... anti-stids...

  title card : Two Days Later

  Prince George : Anti-distinctly-minty-monetarism...

  [Blackadder enters] 

  Blackadder : Your Highness, Sir Talbot Buxomly, MP.

• Blackadder : [enters in a lords gown]  My lord.

  Prince George : My Lords.

  Blackadder : Pardon, sir?

  Prince George : My Lords. There is more than one lord in the vicinity. Will you please welcome his Grace, the Lord Baldrick.

  [Baldrick enters in his lordly regalia] 

  Blackadder : You made BALDRICK a Lord?

  Prince George : Well, yes. One who has recently done sterling service, matching the political machinations of the evil Pitt. Good old Lord Baldrick!

  Baldrick : It's all right Blackadder, you don't have to curtsey or anything.

  Blackadder : Sir, might I let loose a short violent exclamation?

  Prince George : Certainly.

  Blackadder : [Blackadder moves discreetly sideways, then shouts]  DAMN!

  Prince George : I say, that's a bit of a strange get up, isn't it Blackadder?

  Blackadder : No sir, I'm just off to a fancy dress party. I'm going as Lady Hamilton's pussy.

  [he walks towards the door, stops and turns] 

  Blackadder : There is one little question, sir. About the £400 000 to influence the lords...

  Prince George : Ah, yes. I gave that to Lord Baldrick.

  Blackadder : [Looking pleased]  Ahh! Sir, might I be permitted to take Lord Baldrick downstairs for some instruction in his lordly duties?

  Prince George : I think that's a splendid idea.

  Blackadder : [to Baldrick]  This way, my Lord.

  [Leaves with cloak raised, Dracula-esque] 

• Prince George : I say, Blackadder, are you sure this is the PM? Seems more like an oily tick to me. When I was at school, we used to line up four or five of his sort, make 'em bend over, and use 'em as a toast rack.

  Pitt the Younger : It doesn't surprise me, sir, I know your sort. Once, it was I who stood in the big, cold schoolroom, a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame. Since that day, I have been busy every hour God sent, working to become Prime Minister and fight sloth and privilege wherever I found it.

  Blackadder : [Casually]  I trust you weren't too busy to remove the crumpet.