Blackadder II (TV Series)

Potato (1986)

Rowan Atkinson: Edmund Blackadder

Photos 

Quotes 

• Blackadder : I was under the impression that it's common maritime practice for a ship to have a crew?

  Captain Rum : Opinion is divided on the subject.

• Queen Elizabeth : [knock at door]  Who is it?

  Lord Melchett : It is I, your majesty.

  Queen Elizabeth : Stop! Close your eyes. Now enter.

  [Blackadder and Melchett enter. Melchett has his hand over his eyes] 

  Queen Elizabeth : [doing a very bad imitation of a sailor]  Ahoy there me shivering matey, heave-ho.

  [normal voice] 

  Queen Elizabeth : Right, now open your eyes.

  Lord Melchett : [uncovers eyes]  Thank you ma'am. And um...

  [looks around room] 

  Queen Elizabeth : [practically squealing with delight]  What's the matter Melchie?

  Lord Melchett : [very obviously humouring her]  Well I beg your pardon your majesty, but I was hoping to greet the gallant young sailor who hallooed me as I came in. Perchance he has hauled anchor and sailed away.

  Queen Elizabeth : [mischievously]  No. It was me!

  Lord Melchett : Majesty! Surely not.

  Blackadder : You utter creep.

• Blackadder : By the day after tomorrow, we shall be in Calais! Captain, set sail for France!

  Captain Rum : Aye Aye, sir!

  [the day after the day after tomorrow] 

  Blackadder : So you don't know the way to France either?

  Captain Rum : No, I must confess that too

  [Blackadder nods. Takes in this important information] 

  Blackadder : Bugger

• Blackadder : It is said, Percy, that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company so that by learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God.

  Lord Percy : [delighted]  Yes, I'd heard that.

  Blackadder : Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best.

• Lord Melchett : Ah Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see.

  Blackadder : Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation.

• [Blackadder shows Baldrick a potato] 

  Blackadder : I mean, look at this. What is it?

  Baldrick : I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord.

  Blackadder : I haven't forgotten; it's a rhetorical question.

  Baldrick : No, it's a potato.

• Blackadder : I have better things to do than listen to Sir Rather-A-Wally Raleigh.