Blackadder II (TV Series)

Beer (1986)

Miriam Margolyes: Lady Whiteadder

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Edmund is trying to impress his puritan relatives] 

  Blackadder : This is a house of simple purity.

  Monk : [Runs in and vomits in fireplace]  Great booze-up, Edmund.

  Lady Whiteadder : Do you know that man?

  Blackadder : No.

  Lady Whiteadder : He called you Edmund

  Blackadder : Oh, know him? Yes, I do.

  Lady Whiteadder : Then can you explain what he meant by "great booze-up"?

  Blackadder : [very long pause]  Yes, I can. My friend is a missionary and on his last visit abroad brought back with him the chief of a famous tribe. His name is Great Boo. He's been suffering from sleeping sickness and he's obviously just woken because as you've heard, Great Boo's up.

• Blackadder : Which reminds me, Auntie...

  Lady Whiteadder : Don't call me "Auntie." Aunt is a relative and relatives are evidence of sex. Which is hardly a fitting conversation for the dinner table.

  Blackadder : Or indeed, any table.

  Lord Percy : Except perhaps a table in a brothel.

• Lady Whiteadder : Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics.

• Blackadder : [Addressing drunken party guests]  Look, do you lot want to hear about this goblin or not?

  [Chorus of "yes" from guests] 

  Blackadder : Right, well, perhaps this time I might be allowed to continue and perhaps finish, with any luck.

  Lady Whiteadder : "Luck"? Hey hey, get it?

  [Chorus of "no" from guests] 

  Lady Whiteadder : Oh, come on! "Luck." Sounds almost exactly like f...

  [scene cuts to closing credits] 

• Lady Whiteadder : Chairs! You have chairs in your House?

  Blackadder : Yes, well...

  [she slaps him twice] 

  Lady Whiteadder : Wicked Child! Chairs are the work of Belezabub! At our house Nathaneal sits on a spike!

  Blackadder : And yourself?

  Lady Whiteadder : I sit on Nathaneal! Two spikes would be an extravagance.

• Lady Whiteadder : [Edmund returns from the drinking contestant with a pair of fake breasts strapped on]  You seem to be wearing a pair of Devil's Dumplings!

• Blackadder : A little drink?

  Lady Whiteadder : Wicked child! Drink is urine from the last leper in Hell!