Blackadder II (TV Series)
Beer (1986)
William Hootkins: Monk
Quotes
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[Edmund is trying to impress his puritan relatives]
Blackadder : This is a house of simple purity.
Monk : [Runs in and vomits in fireplace] Great booze-up, Edmund.
Lady Whiteadder : Do you know that man?
Blackadder : No.
Lady Whiteadder : He called you Edmund
Blackadder : Oh, know him? Yes, I do.
Lady Whiteadder : Then can you explain what he meant by "great booze-up"?
Blackadder : [very long pause] Yes, I can. My friend is a missionary and on his last visit abroad brought back with him the chief of a famous tribe. His name is Great Boo. He's been suffering from sleeping sickness and he's obviously just woken because as you've heard, Great Boo's up.
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Simon Partridge : [as Queen Elizabeth emerges from the closet] Whoa, another stripper.
Geoffrey Piddle : [as Lord Whiteadder also appears] And a male stripper!
Monk : Oh yes, this is much more like it!
[removes The Queen's cloak, revealing her identity]
Simon Partridge : And she's come dressed as the queen.
Geoffrey Piddle : Sexy!
Queen Elizabeth : [indignant] Do you know who I am?
Blackadder : [entering] Yes. I know who you are.
Geoffrey Piddle : Who?
Blackadder : You're Merlin, the Happy Pig.
Queen Elizabeth : Wrong, I'm afraid. I am the Queen of England.
[they all kneel]
Queen Elizabeth : I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman. But I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.
Simon Partridge : Prove it!
Queen Elizabeth : [playfully] Certainly will.
[picks up a large mug of beer]
Queen Elizabeth : First I'm going to have a little drinkie, and then I'm going to execute the whole bally lot of you.