Blackadder II (TV Series)

Beer (1986)

Miranda Richardson: Queen Elizabeth I

Photos 

Quotes 

• Simon Partridge : [as Queen Elizabeth emerges from the closet]  Whoa, another stripper.

  Geoffrey Piddle : [as Lord Whiteadder also appears]  And a male stripper!

  Monk : Oh yes, this is much more like it!

  [removes The Queen's cloak, revealing her identity] 

  Simon Partridge : And she's come dressed as the queen.

  Geoffrey Piddle : Sexy!

  Queen Elizabeth : [indignant]  Do you know who I am?

  Blackadder : [entering]  Yes. I know who you are.

  Geoffrey Piddle : Who?

  Blackadder : You're Merlin, the Happy Pig.

  Queen Elizabeth : Wrong, I'm afraid. I am the Queen of England.

  [they all kneel] 

  Queen Elizabeth : I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman. But I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.

  Simon Partridge : Prove it!

  Queen Elizabeth : [playfully]  Certainly will.

  [picks up a large mug of beer] 

  Queen Elizabeth : First I'm going to have a little drinkie, and then I'm going to execute the whole bally lot of you.

• [Elizabeth has coerced Blackadder into having a drinking party that night. He is trying to get it postponed a day because his rich Puritan relatives will be visiting] 

  Queen Elizabeth : I know why you want to get out of it, because I remember the last time you had a party. I found you face-down in a puddle, wearing a pointy hat and singing a song about goblins.

  Blackadder : Yes, all right! All right! Tonight it is!

  Queen Elizabeth : Oh, Edmund... I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed just to see the expression on your face.

• Queen Elizabeth : [about Lord Melchett, who is drunk]  He was banging on the castle gates and falling over, and singing a curious song about a girl who possessed something called... a dicky-dido?

• Queen Elizabeth : [Elizabeth has coerced Blackadder into having a drinking party that night. He is trying to get it postponed a day because his rich Puritan relatives will be visiting]  I know why you want to get out of it, because I remember the last time you had a party. I found you face-down in a puddle, wearing a pointy hat and singing a song about goblins.

  Blackadder : [Stands in resigned frustration]  Yes, all right! All right! Tonight it is!

  Queen Elizabeth : [Smiling and flirtatiously]  Oh, Edmund... I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed just to see the expression on your face.