Blackadder Goes Forth (TV Series)

Private Plane (1989)

Hugh Laurie: Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Barleigh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lord Flasheart : All right men, let's do-oo-oo it! The first thing to remember is: always treat your kite

  [Flashheart taps the picture of the Sopwith Camel with his cane] 

  Lord Flasheart : like you treat your woman!

  [Flashheart whips the air with his cane] 

  Lieutenant George : How, how do you mean, Sir? Do you mean, do you mean take her home at weekends to meet your mother?

  Lord Flasheart : No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.

  Captain Blackadder : I'm beginning to see why the suffragette movement want the vote.

  Lord Flasheart : Hey! Any girl who wants to chain herself to *my* railings and suffer a jet movement gets *my* vote!

• Lord Flasheart : Enter the man who has no underwear. Ask me why.

  Lieutenant George : Why do you have no underwear, Lord Flash?

  Lord Flasheart : Because the pants haven't been built yet that'll take the job on!

• Captain Darling : Excuse me, Sir

  Lord Flasheart : Yes, yes, prat at the back.

  Captain Darling : I'm sure we'd all like to know... Why are you called the Twenty Minuters?

  Lieutenant George : Oh, Mr Thicko, fancy not knowing that!

  Lord Flasheart : It's simple! The life expectancy of a new pilot is twenty minutes!

  Captain Blackadder : Life *expectancy* of twenty minutes?

  Lord Flasheart : That's right! Goggles on, last one back's a homo! Hooray!

  [Flash leaves with the other trainees, leaving Blackadder and George in their seats] 

  Captain Blackadder : So we take off in ten minutes, we're in the air for twenty minutes, so we should be dead by twenty five to ten.

  Lieutenant George : Hairy blighters, sir, this is a bit of a turn-up for the plus fours.

• Lieutenant George : Crikey, sir. I'm looking forward to today. Up diddly up, down diddly down, whoops, poop, twiddly dee - decent scrap with the fiendish Red Baron - bit of a jolly old crash landing behind enemy lines - capture, torture, escape, and then back home in time for tea and medals.

  Captain Blackadder : George, who's using the family brain cell at the moment? This is just the training - 6 months of dull men looking at machinery.

  Lord Flasheart : [Voice from outside the room]  Hey, girls - look at my machinery!

  [Girls scream] 

• General Melchett : [explaining why they can't rescue Captain Blackadder]  Now George, you remember when I came down to visit you when you were a nipper, for your sixth birthday? You used to have a lovely little rabbit, beautiful little thing, do you remember?

  Lieutenant George : Flossie.

  General Melchett : That's right, Flossie! Do you remember what happened to Flossie?

  Lieutenant George : You shot him.

  General Melchett : That's right! It was the kindest thing to do after he'd been run over by that car.

  Lieutenant George : By *your* car, sir.

  General Melchett : Yes, by my car. But that, too, was an act of mercy when you remember that that dog had been set on him.

  Lieutenant George : *Your* dog, sir.

  General Melchett : Yes, yes, my dog. But what I'm trying to say, George, is that the state young Flossie was in after we'd scraped him off my front tyre, is very much the state that young Blackadder will be in now: if not very nearly dead, then very actually dead!

  Lieutenant George : Permission for lip to wobble, sir?

  General Melchett : Permission granted.

• Lord Flasheart : The first thing to remember is always treat your kite like you treat your woman.

  Lieutenant George : H-How do you mean, sir? Do you mean, um, do you mean take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?

  Lord Flasheart : No. I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.

• Lord Flasheart : You look like a decent British bloke. I'll park the old booties on you if that's okay.

  Private Baldrick : It would be an honour, my Lord.

  Lord Flasheart : Of course it would! Ha!

  Lord Flasheart : [Flashheart rests his feet on Baldrick's back and sighs]  Have you any idea what it's like to have the wind rushing through your hair, George?

  Lieutenant George : No, Sir.

  Lord Flasheart : [Flashheart breaks wind in Baldrick's face]  He has!