Blackadder Goes Forth (TV Series)

Corporal Punishment (1989)

Rowan Atkinson: Captain Edmund Blackadder

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  [Blackadder has found Baldrick and George drunk] 

  Private Baldrick : I think I can explain sir.

  Captain Blackadder : Can you, Baldrick?

  Private Baldrick : No.

  Captain Blackadder : As I suspected. I'm not a religious man as you know, but henceforth I shall pray nightly to the God who killed Cain and squashed Samson that he comes out of retirement and gets back into practice with the pair of you.

  [the phone rings. Blackadder snatches it up] 

  Captain Blackadder : Blackadder. Ah, Captain Darling. Well, you know, some of us just have friends in high places, I suppose. No I can hear you perfectly. You want what? You want two volunteers for a mission into No Man's Land. Codename "Operation Certain Death". Yes I think I have just the fellows.

  [He hangs up and looks at the two] 

  Captain Blackadder : God is very quick these days.

  [George and Baldrick look terrified] 

• [Baldrick enters the witness box at Blackadder's trial] 

  Captain Blackadder : [whispering]  Baldrick, deny everything.

  Lieutenant George : You are Private Baldrick?

  Private Baldrick : No.

  Lieutenant George : Are you not Captain Blackadder's batman?

  Private Baldrick : No.

  [Blackadder beats his head against the desk] 

• [Blackadder is about to be shot] 

  Corporal Perkins : Well, Captain, I've got to admire your balls.

  Captain Blackadder : Perhaps later.

• Captain Blackadder : [on the telephone]  You'd like to book a table for three, by the window, for 9:30 p.m., not too near the band, in the name of "Oberleutnant von Genschler". Yes? Yes? I think you might have the wrong number.

• [Blackadder is waiting in his prison cell for the inevitable day when he will be executed] 

  Corporal Perkins : Do you mind if I disturb you for a moment, sir?

  Captain Blackadder : No, no, not at all. My diary's pretty empty this week. Let's see, Thursday morning, get shot, yes, that's about it, actually.

  Corporal Perkins : It's just there's a few chaps out here would like a bit of a chinwag.

  Captain Blackadder : Oh, lovely. Always keen to meet new people.

  [a small group of soldiers enter the cell] 

  Corporal Perkins : Corporal Jones and Privates Spacer, Robinson, and Tipplewick

  All : Hello.

  Captain Blackadder : Oh, nice of you to drop by. And what do you do?

  Corporal Jones : We're your firing squad, sir.